Maybe I need to adopt the same philosophy as my Russian ex. Maybe I could be grateful to my mom for going to the us embassy in Asia when we were kids and putting in a request for moving to America. In 10 years, when we received a letter that it was our lottery day and it was our number to go to the us, it was a dream come true. So maybe she tried to do the best she could with resources she had idk 🤷‍♀️ sometimes I think money changes people, America changes people too. The more money you have, the more you want. If a rich man from Asia or Canada asked my mom for me or my sister in marriage my mom would instantly say yes and would force us for marriage to rich guy 👰‍♀️

Despite what I say about my mom I do think someone like @jack may get along better with her. She’s a cancer and @jack has his Venus in 4th house. He prefers a motherly love. Whereas in my case, I have Venus in 10 th house, what I needed and would’ve loved to have as a mother is @jack's mom @Marcia Dorsey cause she’s a Capricorn. I think God made a mistake he switched our mothers. I wanted a Capricorn mother

I guess what’s enough for an immigrant man isn’t enough for immigrant woman. I don’t think my mom was ever emotionally available and just bringing to America may not be enough View quoted note →

A long time ago, I asked my Russian ex, if his mom asks him for this much money all the time and she’s never been there for him, why does he care to send money or spend time with her, he said “she brought me to America, that’s enough for me I guess but she doesn’t care about me now” Maybe that’s why I liked/ loved the Russian ex, this was common ground, a relatable point of conversation and emotional attachment, a very strong bond that’s based on healing from childhood trauma. His mother also like my mother brought him to Texas from Russia (mine bought me here from Asia) when petitioning to the us embassy, they listen to women more than men, especially educated women with small children.

My mom asks for money to maintain our Texas house from us every month and when we don’t have, or can’t give or don’t live in Texas, she harrasses us and shows us how difficult her life’s been and how much she did for us her whole life. When in reality she didn’t do anything So if you really want to know why I moved to nyc or LA, it’s to getaway from Texas, particularly my mom

My mom was always selfish growing up, she was never faithful or kind to my dad and spend most of her hours at work. She was emotionally unavailable and unstable. To overcome her flaws, my younger sisters feel overly attached to me emotionally and I feel the need to fulfill a void for my siblings that my mom left. To this day she’s a terrible mother and def someone who would sell her kids for money 💵 that’s the truth

Trauma from my mother’s issues makes me watch funny videos like these, thanks @jack sometimes you’re my escape View quoted note →

But I loved my dad so soooo much. We all did cause he was closer to us

I always preferred by dad I never liked my mother, ever

One of the people I dislike and never got along with throughout my life is my mother. Sometimes I do think she’s the reason my dad died. Over the years, I tried to remind myself that she’s my mom and I’m just her daughter and I need to be more forgiving to a parent but she has tried to ruin all 4 of us siblings lives in one or another I really hope that I don’t be a bad mother like my mom was. Part of the reason, I feel excited about moving in to @jack sfo house after engagement is because I hate Texas, I want to be far from my mom, and I’d love to never host my family in California at @jack

@jack 😏

You could be a comedian @jack I cheer up when I watch this View quoted note →

Of all the videos on YouTube and everywhere on the internet 🛜 this is by far my favorite video of husband @jack 🤗

You’re very feminine @jack

You should be part of the women empowerment team with stuff you say @jack 😂

You always end up being against the bros who text me. You’re right value for value now I’ll ask the guys that, who text me asking for nudies 🤷‍♀️ @jack View quoted note →

This can be a good experiment. Damn I’m slowly and gradually starting to love #nostr

But this makes no sense because this is a similar effect that an over the counter #melatonin has on people. You know what, maybe I’ll lower the dosage of my antidepressant and start taking a melatonin. If melatonin mimics my antidepressant then I may have cured #NightmareDisorder in people, changing their dreams to pleasant dreams View quoted note →

Another research study suggests that the antidepressant can suppress abnormal motor function, changing the dream contents through psychotropic properties

I hope you’re right. I want to take a moment to explain what’s going on my brain in hopes that by explaining you, I might understand sleep and dreams 🌙 🌑 better So the antidepressant that I’m taking has an effect on dreams, it makes my REM cycle longer and alert, so I feel in control of dreams but it still doesn’t explain the pleasant and colorful dreams, I feel they all represent what I want, but I usually have unfulfilled dreams, something happens and I wake up or during the dream I feel omg im not there, they are not pretty dreams. But the dreams I have these days are pretty I really feel under water 🌊 when I’m dreaming that’s how real they feel View quoted note →