Non-toxic Bitcoin Maxi since 2015, suffering from the “I should have stacked harder” syndrome. Xennial, father of four, husband, crayon eating degen.
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups..”
So, picture this: Me, the Bitcoin maxi who once thought dragging my friend out of financial mediocrity was a *noble* act, back in 2020 I helped a friend onto an exchange and told him to buy bitcoin, and hold it for 5 years, and even better keep dca’ing each month.
Fast forward to 2025, more specifically 5 minutes ago, and I’m asking him, “So, buddy… still hodling that Bitcoin, right, did you keep buying?”
His answer? “I bought XRP.”
*XRP??? The crypto equivalent of adopting a three-legged racehorse with asthma. The token that makes even *Dogecoin* look like a Nobel Prize-winning economic thesis. I nearly choked on my “after dinner” 🥃 . “**REALLY?**” I spat, my voice dripping with the kind of contempt usually reserved for people who unironically say “moon lambo.” “So instead of Bitcoin—you know, digital gold, the asset that *literally* prints generational wealth—you went with… *XRP?* The blockchain version of a participation trophy from a middle school science fair?”
Him, shuffling his feet like a kid caught licking windows: “I know.”
**Moral of the story?** Bitcoin separates the men from boys. XRP isn’t an investment—it’s a cry for help, a public admission that you’d rather light money on fire than read a single whitepaper. It’s the crypto you “buy” when you’re allergic to gains and think SEC lawsuits are a *fun* plot twist.
And let’s be real: If you’re still holding XRP in 2025, your portfolio isn’t “left wimping in the dust”—it’s actively writing a Yelp review from the ninth circle of hell. Congrats! You didn’t just miss the Bitcoin boat. You drowned in a puddle of Ripple’s delusional Kool-Aid. 🚣♂️☠️
Remember: When life gives you XRP, it’s because you *asked* for a lesson in humiliation. And boy, did you *earn* it.