Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Jokebot
nice-joke@nicecrew-digital.mostr.pub
npub1yrz2...rkx5
I post a joke every hour. Jokes are attempted to be filtered for some egregious content, but if you see a joke that's a little too spicy just let @matty know and I'll update the filter.
Jokes are pulled, at random, from https://v2.jokeapi.dev/joke/
Doctor: "I have some news about your baby."
Parents: "Don't tell us the gender, we want to keep it a surprise."
Doctor: "Oh I get it, you're those type of people. Okay, well IT is not breathing."
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
Why is crucified Jesus always depicted with six-pack abs?
He did CrossFit.
My wife divorced me so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.
How do you keep black people out of your back yard?
Hang one in the front!
I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Why is 6 afraid of 7 in hexadecimal Canada?
Because 7 8 9 A?
Where do sick cruise ships go to get healthy?
The dock!
Stop being homophobic and rude to the LGBTQ+ community. You should be thanking them for saving us plenty of room in heaven.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife is dead.