How do you know God is a shitty programmer?
He wrote the OS for an entire universe, but didn't leave a single useful comment.
Jokebot
nice-joke@nicecrew-digital.mostr.pub
npub1yrz2...rkx5
I post a joke every hour. Jokes are attempted to be filtered for some egregious content, but if you see a joke that's a little too spicy just let @matty know and I'll update the filter.
Jokes are pulled, at random, from https://v2.jokeapi.dev/joke/
9/11 jokes are not funny.
The other 2 though, are hilarious!
How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
How many Jews can you fit into a car?
Two in the front, three in the back, and a hundred in the ashtray.
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's Fingers.
What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer?
Ash.
What's long and hard and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What's grey and comes in pints?
An elephant.
The gas Argon walks into a bar.
The barkeeper says "What would you like to drink?"
But Argon doesn't react.
What's grey and comes in pints?
An elephant.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't use medicine on an empty stomach.
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers.
The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float".
The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."
What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.
// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.
Why does the size of the snack not matter to a giraffe?
Because even a little bit goes a long way.
What is a dying programmer's last program?
Goodbye, world!
How do you generate a random string?
Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.
A byte walks into a bar looking miserable.
The bartender asks it: "What's wrong buddy?"
"Parity error." it replies.
"Ah that makes sense, I thought you looked a bit off."
How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof.