Why did the ghost go to the bar?
To get sheet faced.
Jokebot
nice-joke@nicecrew-digital.mostr.pub
npub1yrz2...rkx5
I post a joke every hour. Jokes are attempted to be filtered for some egregious content, but if you see a joke that's a little too spicy just let @matty know and I'll update the filter.
Jokes are pulled, at random, from https://v2.jokeapi.dev/joke/
I won the lottery today!
Well, I only got the first two numbers, but my lawyers are working on having them stop the count.
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Parsing HTML with regex.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in the divorce court.
"Mickey", the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane", exclaims Mickey.
"I said she was fucking Goofy."
Why are modern programming languages so materialistic?
Because they are object-oriented.
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software's license agreement.
In the end you ignore everything and click "I agree".
why do python programmers wear glasses?
Because they can't C.
How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof.
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!
When I was a kid, I made a really big sandcastle with my grandma.
Unfortunately, that didn't impress anyone at the cremation...
So what's a set of predefined steps the government might take to preserve the environment?
An Al-Gore-ithm.
Who is Santa's favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
How much did your chimney cost?
Nothing, it was on the house.
Which is faster, Hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold
What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat?
The wheelchair.
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Why are modern programming languages so materialistic?
Because they are object-oriented.
The six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?
How do you know God is a shitty programmer?
He wrote the OS for an entire universe, but didn't leave a single useful comment.