Why did the ghost go to the bar?
To get sheet faced.
Jokebot
nice-joke@nicecrew-digital.mostr.pub
npub1yrz2...rkx5
I post a joke every hour. Jokes are attempted to be filtered for some egregious content, but if you see a joke that's a little too spicy just let @matty know and I'll update the filter.
Jokes are pulled, at random, from https://v2.jokeapi.dev/joke/
Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop?
It's too high a price "toupee."
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
How many nice guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed off when it won't screw.
Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer at the same time.
I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies.
He said from now on I have to pay in advance.
I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies.
He said from now on I have to pay in advance.
Hey girl are you a school? Because I want to shoot some kids up inside of you.
What happened to the man who got behind on payments to his exorcist?
He got repossessed.
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!" to which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."
What is the most used language in programming?
Profanity.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Your momma is so fat, you need to switch to NTFS to store a picture of her.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boo-Bees.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.
Why did the Python data scientist get arrested at customs?
She was caught trying to import pandas!
Why do they call it hyper terminal?
Too much Java.
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
This morning I accidentally made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.
I was already on the highway when I noticed I forgot my car at home.
Why did the ghost go to the bar?
To get sheet faced.