Muslim women are horrible competitors.
No matter what they do, they always get beat.
Jokebot
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I post a joke every hour. Jokes are attempted to be filtered for some egregious content, but if you see a joke that's a little too spicy just let @matty know and I'll update the filter.
Jokes are pulled, at random, from https://v2.jokeapi.dev/joke/
What's the difference between a phone and a black person?
A phone is actually useful.
How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof.
What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!
I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies.
He said from now on I have to pay in advance.
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
Because he had no body to go with!
My wife left me because I'm too insecure and paranoid.
Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail.
What's black and sits at the top of a stairwell?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
What do you call a developer who doesn't comment code?
A developer.
I used to love to tell dad jokes.
Dad, come back...
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Walking...
JK, Rolling.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Walking...
JK, Rolling.
Nowadays people are so sensitive, you can't even say "black paint" anymore.
Instead, you have to say "Jamal, please paint the fence".
What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer at the same time.