I baked bread

NSFW shower thought: It’s a shame we can’t work out a deal with the mosquitos. A lot of perfectly good blood goes to waste from menstruating women. And I speak for all humans when I say enough is enough with getting bit up. What if we as a society, we worked out some sort of schedule with all menstruating women. Basically each month, a lady on her period would pick a night to go out on the front lawn and just let her loose. Spray the whole damn town red. Then the mosquitos, can have a full lawn orgy and suck up all the free blood they want and leave us the hell out of it. I’m talking fully engorged fat American mosquitos falling out of the sky because their weight won’t allow them to continue flight. We might even wipe the fuckers out entirely as a species.

I ordered a fancy schmancy skincare serum that all the hot girlies were talking about. I think I should have read the ingredients first… Key ingredient is salmon semen. It already feels weird enough to rub goo all over my face. Now I gotta do it knowing I’m getting bukkaked by the Pacific Ocean. Also…semen in skincare? Brings me flashbacks to highschool where boys were constantly telling us gals all the snake oil benefits of their jizz in pure desperation that somebody would touch their thingies😂 Anyways, I better be glowing