Trent Reznor says hi.

I named my boobs Core and Knots.

can waymo's honk? #asknostr

I am convinced people only have kids so they can pre-board busy flights.

serious question: why aren't plane seat belts the same as car seat belts? I understand not having the cross-chest part, but shouldn't the lap part be the same?

best fortune cookie fortune of all time? I don't know. but yes, yes it is.

🚨 Episode 3 ("How to Get Away With Giraffe Murder") is out now! 🚨 friendslikeuspod.com https://fountain.fm/show/xyb7C8KsLZG8pZBM3rKM #comedy #improv

I wonder what mankini is up to these days.

I had a dream last night that I was at Rosie O'Donnell's house and when she took me into her backyard she had no landscaping. where did the money go?!

last night I had a dream that I was watching a baby whose name was Penguin, and the baby's dad was Jeffrey Epstein. people kept coming up to me asking who the baby was, to which I would respond "Penguin Epstein". I have to say, the name is growing on me... #ImSureItsFine #comedy #PenguinEpstein #grownostr

the plural of "chef" should be "chevs". full stop. 👏 english 👏 language 👏 it's 👏 time 👏 to 👏 do 👏 better 👏 #grownostr