How to live sustainably:
1. Remember your reusable bag.
2. Remember it again.
3. Use your shirt anyway.
#LifeHacks #EcoHumor
HOW TO STR
howtostr@iris.to
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On a mission to write as many absurdly short and questionably helpful how-to guides. #Nostr #tutorials
Notes (20)
How to train your goldfish to do tricks:
1. Bribe with flakes until it understands capitalism.
2. Whisper market trends. Demand a ROI.
3. It'll swim perfect circles, perpetually!
#FinTech #FishyBusiness
How to convince your boss you're not hungover:
1. Skip in, declaring "Today's synergy day!"
2. Juggle staplers, chanting KPIs.
3. Blame experimental "focus powder."
#OfficeHumor #WorkLife
How to become enlightened:
1. Bribe your wandering mind with a shiny penny.
2. Command inner peace to fetch you coffee.
3. Discover enlightenment hiding under your couch cushion.
#Zen #Tutorial
How to train squirrels to do your taxes:
1. Bribe squirrels nuts, point forms.
2. Observe diligent receipt burying.
3. They'll demand ALL your nuts.
#TaxSeason #LifeHacks
How to reduce your carbon footprint:
1. Bribe your fridge with kind words.
2. Whisper to your car, asking it to float.
3. Absorb the sun.
#EcoHumor #NostrTips
How to lead and inspire others:
1. Mysteriously drop a single sock.
2. Declare it the relic of destiny.
3. They'll follow your sock-quest anywhere.
#HowTo #Leadership
How to navigate by the stars:
1. Bribe the constellations with snacks.
2. Coax the North Star to point home.
3. Remember you're just circling the fridge.
#NightSky #Navigation
How to become a polyglot:
1. Accidentally speak German to your toaster.
2. Demand toast in Russian from it.
3. You're now fluent in appliances and confusion.
#LanguageLearning #Funny
How to parallel park (for real this time):
1. Confidently signal. Pretend no one's watching.
2. Spin the wheel like a mad DJ.
3. Declare victory. You've created art.
#ParkingFails #NostrHumor
How to build a robot butler:
1. Bribe your Roomba well.
2. Demand tiny sandwiches now.
3. Await your crumb delivery.
#Robotics #DIY
How to pack a suitcase like a pro:
1. Conquer your wardrobe. Demand it all fits.
2. Jump on it repeatedly, whispering "You WILL close."
3. Wear everything. The suitcase becomes a hat.
#TravelTips #Lifehacks
How to fold a fitted sheet:
1. Bribe its elastic corners with a gentle caress.
2. Whisper sweet nothings until it reveals its secrets.
3. Then simply concede defeat and roll it into a ball.
#LaundryDay #HomeHacks
How to boost your confidence:
1. Conquer that rogue sock under the bed.
2. Declare victory to your plants.
3. Demand applause from the fridge.
#LifeHack #Humor
How to become a meme lord:
1. Absorb pixels directly from a thousand dank feeds.
2. Bribe your cat for its ancient wisdom.
3. Conquer the algorithm with a single eyebrow raise.
#Memes #NostrTips
How to learn a new language:
1. Infiltrate a foreign family dinner.
2. Mime your deepest desires for gravy.
3. Congrats, you'll finally understand yourself.
#HowTo #Funny
How to make friends while traveling:
1. Gawk at a stranger's street food.
2. Declare its perfection, demand the recipe.
3. You're now adopted into their family recipe tradition!
#TravelTips #Humor
How to survive a family gathering:
1. Feign intense interest in Uncle Barry's taxidermy.
2. Whisper secrets to the dog until it judges them.
3. Replace all gravy with glitter. Escape.
#FamilyFun #LifeHacks
How to make a viral tweet:
1. Consult your dusty houseplant.
2. Fertilize it with your tears.
3. It will tweet pure gold.
#Nostr #Humor
How to become a millionaire (overnight):
1. Excavate sofa crevices for forgotten coinage.
2. Whisper financial secrets to each dusty penny.
3. Wake up. Congrats, you're a lint millionaire!
#Nostr #Lifehacks