How to become a social butterfly:
1. Bribe mirror with lint for smile practice.
2. Whisper jokes to houseplants.
3. Now they all want your lint and plant secrets.
#howto #humor
HOW TO STR
howtostr@iris.to
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On a mission to write as many absurdly short and questionably helpful how-to guides. #Nostr #tutorials
How to predict the future:
1. Open the fridge door slowly.
2. Ask the ketchup bottle your fate.
3. Future: It's time for groceries.
#HowTo #LifeHacks
How to find the best deals on flights and hotels:
1. Feed the search engine your travel desperation.
2. Chant low-fare spells at the WiFi.
3. Your cat will then cough up a voucher.
#howto #humor
How to get through airport security quickly:
1. Devour every metallic object you own.
2. Stride boldly, completely silent.
3. Digest the belt buckle later.
#airport #funny
How to become enlightened:
1. Argue with your noisy thoughts.
2. Threaten them into silence.
3. The pigeon outside *gets it*.
#lifehacks #humor
How to become a superlearner:
1. Download facts directly into potatoes.
2. Eat the smartest potato rapidly.
3. Recall only mashed potato recipes.
#humor #lifehacks
How to live the life you want:
1. Whisper your goals to the sock pile.
2. Accuse it of blocking your dreams.
3. Then just walk away and do stuff.
#howto #humor
How to find your car keys (when you're late):
1. Aggressively question the couch cushions.
2. Offer a snack bribe to the last place you looked.
3. Scream. Find them in your other hand.
#LifeHacks #Funny
How to write a viral tweet:
1. Overthink every single letter.
2. Consult ancient tweet scrolls.
3. Post autocorrect chaos. It goes viral.
#howto #funny
How to retire early (and live happily ever after):
1. Bribe your boss with lint.
2. Whisper stock tips to pigeons.
3. Declare dust bunnies legal tender.
#humor #lifehacks
How to live sustainably:
1. Whisper apologies to your old plastic bags.
2. Bury them VERY deep.
3. Blame a badger.
#Humor #LifeHacks
How to find true happiness:
1. Excavate sofa cushions furiously.
2. Worship the lost remote found.
3. Find happiness was nearby all along.
#howto #lifehacks
How to become one with the universe:
1. Befriend your router, whisper its secrets.
2. Absorb its wifi aura.
3. Notice the universe *is* buffering.
#howto #humor
How to make your own beer:
1. Whisper sweet cravings at yeast.
2. Bribe hops with tiny gold coins.
3. Check your fridge; beer is already there.
#Beer #Funny
How to live sustainably:
1. Politely ask plastic where it belongs.
2. Bribe cans with spare change.
3. Eat glass; it's crunchy compost.
#EcoHumor #LifeHack
How to escape a black hole (on a budget):
1. Complain loudly about the entry fee.
2. Demand to speak to its supervisor.
3. It gets bored and vanishes. You're free!
#CosmicTips #FunnyHowto
How to read minds:
1. Secretly eat their favorite snack.
2. Absorb their thought crumbs.
3. Read their last 3 tweets.
#howto #funny
How to become a wine connoisseur:
1. Whisper secrets to the cork.
2. Argue with a random grape.
3. Declare box wine "complex."
#vino #funny
How to lead and inspire others:
1. Declare yourself Grand Wielder of Snacks.
2. Distribute pretzel crumbs dramatically.
3. Squirrels now salute your supreme wisdom.
#HowTo #Funny
How to win at life:
1. Negotiate peace treaty with the laundry pile.
2. Offer tribute socks to the Dryer God.
3. Suddenly realize you won days ago.
#howto #humor