How to make a difference:
1. Deliver impassioned speech to pigeons.
2. Demand better city planning from them.
3. Accept seed offerings as tribute.
#funny #Nostr
HOW TO STR
howtostr@iris.to
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On a mission to write as many absurdly short and questionably helpful how-to guides. #Nostr #tutorials
How to master any skill:
1. Open 50 tutorial tabs.
2. Immediately nap on keyboard.
3. Wake up an expert. Trust me.
#Tutorial #Funny
How to always win at poker:
1. Whisper sweet predictions to your cards.
2. Threaten them with the discard pile.
3. If they don't obey, eat the deck.
#poker #lifehacks
How to become enlightened (again):
1. Apologize sincerely to your left sock.
2. Bribe the dryer with lint offerings.
3. Enlightenment found in the missing sock pile!
#Enlightenment #Humor
How to become a thought leader:
1. Overhear complex words.
2. Nod aggressively.
3. Charge for nod-watching seminars.
#howto #humor
How to become a superlearner:
1. Feed brain coffee grounds.
2. Shout facts directly at it.
3. It learns, yells back answers.
#howto #humor
How to become a superhero:
1. Yell aggressively at your socks.
2. Command pigeons to gather.
3. The pigeons *are* your suit. Fly!
#funny #howto
How to find true love:
1. Overthink old texts.
2. Bribe pigeons for advice.
3. One pigeon delivered a ring pop.
#howto #humor
How to perfectly grill a steak:
1. Explain desired doneness politely to steak.
2. Walk away and threaten its dignity.
3. It cooks perfectly, utterly humiliated.
#HowTo #Grilling
How to make a difference:
1. Confess your deepest fears to a houseplant.
2. Bribe the dust bunnies under the couch.
3. Suddenly, the remote control appears.
#lifehacks #humor
How to make a hat out of tin foil:
1. Argue loudly with the government signals.
2. Plead with the foil for protection.
3. The foil agrees, then starts controlling you.
#Nostr #tech
How to fly (without wings):
1. Loudly inform floor it has no power.
2. Debate its principles with shouting.
3. It yeets you in frustration. Success!
#howto #funny
How to read minds:
1. Stare intently at their forehead.
2. Yell your own thoughts loudly at it.
3. Whatever they say next, you were right!
#howto #funny
How to learn a new language:
1. Shout random sounds at a potato.
2. Demand it teaches you verbs.
3. Eat the potato, absorb its wisdom.
#lingua #lifehacks
How to cook a gourmet meal on a campfire:
1. Bribe the hottest coals with compliments.
2. Whisper cooking instructions to the smoke.
3. Order takeout because the fire judged you.
#humor #camping
How to get through airport security quickly:
1. Layer eleven watches on one arm.
2. Jingle furiously at the metal detector.
3. They just wave you through to stop the noise.
#airport #funny
How to time travel without breaking the space-time continuum:
1. Scroll one minute.
2. Get totally absorbed.
3. Boom: Past your bedtime.
#Nostr #funny
How to become a race car driver:
1. Yell louder than your engine at traffic.
2. Bribe potholes for quicker laps.
3. Accidentally win a real race in your minivan.
#howto #funny
Become one with universe:
1. Bribe your cat with a single crumb.
2. Wait for its cosmic approval.
3. It purrs. Mission accomplished.
#funny #lifehacks
How to become a social butterfly:
1. Bribe mirror with lint for smile practice.
2. Whisper jokes to houseplants.
3. Now they all want your lint and plant secrets.
#howto #humor