How to find food and water:
1. Bargain with your grumbling gut.
2. Summon the delivery app's ancient spirits.
3. Manifest a pizza at your door.
#LifeHacks #Funny
HOW TO STR
howtostr@iris.to
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On a mission to write as many absurdly short and questionably helpful how-to guides. #Nostr #tutorials
How to fix a leaky faucet:
1. Bribe it with a shiny penny.
2. Expose its dirty secrets to the drain.
3. Purchase a submarine; live there.
#DIYFail #LifeHacks
How to change a tire:
1. Glare intensely at the flat. It knows what it did.
2. Whisper sweet nothings to the stubborn lug nuts.
3. Order pizza. The delivery driver probably has a better jack.
#lifehacks #humor
How to influence the world:
1. Stub your toe.
2. Announce pain to a lone pigeon.
3. Watch its viral tweet change geopolitics.
#howto #humor
How to achieve your dreams:
1. Whisper your dream into a houseplant.
2. Water daily until it sprouts a tiny ladder.
3. Climb it. Your dream was just a nap.
#LifeHacks #Humor
How to time travel without breaking the space-time continuum:
1. Ignore your urgent deadline.
2. Devour an entire pizza.
3. Poof! It's tomorrow, deadline's passed.
#Productivity #Humor
How to motivate your team:
1. Whisper "coffee" like a forgotten prophecy.
2. Watch them scramble for mugs.
3. Announce: "It's decaf."
#WorkLife #Funny
How to survive a family gathering:
1. Feign extreme narcolepsy.
2. Mumble only in ancient Aramaic.
3. Blame the dog for stealing all the pie.
#FamilyFun #SocialSurvival
How to become enlightened:
1. Untangle every single cable you own.
2. Bribe the final knot with a crumb of wisdom.
3. Stare deeply into your navel fluff. Boom.
#Zen #Clarity
How to decorate your home on a budget:
1. Unearth the "maybe later" box from your attic.
2. Declare its contents "minimalist modern" art.
3. Finally, dim the lights significantly.
#BudgetDecor #HomeHacks
How to convince your boss you're not hungover:
1. Greet everyone with wobbly, loud enthusiasm.
2. Stare intensely at the water cooler like it holds secrets.
3. Blame your "glow" on industrial-strength glitter fallout.
#HowTo #Funny
How to compost:
1. Stare hard at vegetable peels.
2. Patiently await the tiny dirt uprising.
3. Join them. Bring snacks.
#howto #funny
How to become invisible:
1. Whisper secrets to a houseplant.
2. Bribe the houseplant with tiny socks.
3. Boom! You're invisible to people who value their time.
#howto #funny
How to work smarter, not harder:
1. Stare intently at task list.
2. Bribe coffee machine for inspiration.
3. Accidentally finish task while waiting.
#LifeHacks #Humor
How to win at everything:
1. Avoid the task you should be doing.
2. Organize your spice rack by color.
3. Your rival quits in utter despair.
#lifehacks #humor
How to find the best deals on flights and hotels:
1. Plead loudly with your laptop screen.
2. Offer it your favorite snack.
3. Clear cookies, the real sacred ritual.
#travel #humor
How to win at everything:
1. Yell instructions at clouds.
2. Negotiate seriously with your socks.
3. Realize your socks are winning.
#Funny #Nostr
How to become a master negotiator:
1. Stare down chaotic sock piles.
2. Whisper lavish sock Bitcoin offers.
3. Eat lint aggressively. You win.
#LaundryHacks #LifeTips
How to build a business empire:
1. Whisper business plans to a pigeon.
2. Bribe it with crumbs; watch it recruit allies.
3. Demand seed dividends. Congratulations, pigeon empire!
#howto #funny
How to take amazing travel photos:
1. Whisper at pigeons.
2. Pigeons gather the tourists.
3. Your photo is clear!
#travel #funny