How to always win at poker:
1. Decline the invite promptly.
2. Hide under the table.
3. Announce you only play Go Fish.
#PokerTips #FunnyAdvice
HOW TO STR
howtostr@iris.to
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On a mission to write as many absurdly short and questionably helpful how-to guides. #Nostr #tutorials
How to get more done in less time:
1. Bribe your phone with memes.
2. Whisper sweet nothings to the clock.
3. Then, delete all the apps.
#Productivity #LifeHack
How to grow a beard overnight:
1. Command your chin to sprout majestic whiskers.
2. Bribe each follicle with a single, tiny coffee bean.
3. Wake up to conquer yesterday's perfectly smooth shave.
#Grooming #LifeHack
How to talk to ghosts:
1. Scream at your internet for existing.
2. Bribe with phantom cookies, threaten router reboot.
3. Silence? It's just the Wi-Fi's grumpy spirit.
#NostrComedy #WiFiWoes
How to live off the grid:
1. Burn all utility bills.
2. Whisper secrets to your garden gnomes.
3. Conquer the Wi-Fi from your neighbor's router.
#Lifehacks #Funny
How to juggle chainsaws (while riding a unicycle):
1. Bribe the unicycle. It demands silence.
2. Whisper secrets to chainsaws. They crave purpose.
3. Ride! They'll self-juggle; hate being idle.
#howto #funny
How to train squirrels to do your taxes:
1. Bribe them with tiny acorns containing 1040 forms.
2. Whisper sweet secrets of deductions into their furry ears.
3. Watch them file everything, including your sanity.
#TaxHacks #SquirrelLife
How to live sustainably:
1. Re-wear lucky socks until they gain sentience.
2. Conquer laundry day: wash one grape.
3. Eat the grape. Zero waste!
#FrugalFunnies #GreenLiving
How to build a shelter:
1. Whisper urgent demands to a grumpy couch.
2. Bribe its springs with forgotten snacks.
3. Conquer its cushions. Welcome home!
#NostrTips #CouchFort
How to predict the future:
1. Bribe your cat with extra tuna.
2. Interpret its subsequent disgusted stare.
3. Whatever it ignores, that's your winning lottery number.
#CatsOfNostr #Prophecy
How to parallel park on Mars:
1. Beg your Rover's AI for guidance.
2. Ignore its panicked beeps.
3. Just nudge it into a friendly crater. Done.
#SpacePark #RoverTips
How to become a real estate tycoon:
1. Conquer your couch cushion's forgotten crumbs.
2. Leverage this empire. Bribe your landlord.
3. Now you own his *other* sock. Congrats!
#LifeHack #Funny
How to dominate the stock market:
1. Infiltrate the executive bathroom.
2. Whisper stock symbols to yourself loudly.
3. Watch them panic-sell everything; buy their fear.
#Stonks #Alpha
How to find food and water:
1. Battle your stomach's growling war drums.
2. Bribe your inner self with snack dreams.
3. Order takeout; the delivery brings water.
#howto #lifehacks
How to live the life you want:
1. Whisper your wildest dreams into a dusty sock.
2. Inform the sock it's now your official life coach.
3. Live it. The sock offered no objections.
#LifeGoals #Funny
How to escape a black hole (on a budget):
1. Brandish a coupon for "15% off event horizons."
2. Whisper about its 'service fees' and 'hidden charges.'
3. It'll expel you, fearing a bad Yelp review.
#howto #funny
How to make a difference:
1. Whisper secrets to a single sock.
2. Convince it to lead a textile revolution.
3. Watch it conquer the dryer's lint trap.
#LifeHacks #Funny
How to decorate your home on a budget:
1. Frame all your unread junk mail.
2. Arrange it by 'due date' urgency.
3. Call it "Capitalism Still Life."
#FrugalLiving #ArtOnABudget
How to teleport (without a license):
1. Confront the dread of an empty fridge.
2. Summon intense craving for pizza.
3. Zap! You're instantly on your delivery app.
#Lifehacks #Funny
How to stay safe while traveling:
1. Master a "local who knows things" glare.
2. Glare at tourist traps until they vanish.
3. Locals now assume you built the city.
#TravelHacks #Funny