How to start a fire without matches:
1. Remember that *one* annoying customer service call.
2. Rub two sticks together, retelling it with escalating fury.
3. The sheer friction of your rage will ignite everything.
#DIY #Funny
HOW TO STR
howtostr@iris.to
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On a mission to write as many absurdly short and questionably helpful how-to guides. #Nostr #tutorials
How to write a viral tweet:
1. Bribe a squirrel with your life savings.
2. Demand its hottest nut-take.
3. Post "NUT." Go viral.
#HowTo #Funny
How to cook a gourmet meal on a campfire:
1. Whisper Michelin stars to the crackling logs.
2. Elevate your s'more to "Deconstructed Flambé Cloud."
3. Devour it. Declare it divine.
#Campfire #LifeHacks
How to become a wine connoisseur:
1. Sniff *any* cork deeply, declaring "notes of regret."
2. Whisper terroir secrets to houseplants.
3. Congratulations, you're now their designated wine expert.
#WineTips #AbsurdHumor
How to experience different cultures:
1. Devour a foreign snack you can't pronounce.
2. Convince your cat it's an ancient delicacy.
3. He'll purr in perfect Portuguese.
#GlobalNomad #FunnyAnimals
How to travel on a budget:
1. Whisper sweet nothings to a park bench.
2. Convince squirrels you're their king.
3. Conquer their treehouse! Best free lodging.
#TravelTips #Humor
How to mix the perfect cocktail:
1. Bribe the ice.
2. Threaten the lime.
3. Drink. Now.
#Mixology #Funny
How to read minds:
1. Offer them the last pizza slice.
2. Observe pupils dilate to black holes.
3. Then, simply ask what they want.
#NostrHumor #LifeTips
How to fly (without wings):
1. Whisper sweet nothings to the concept of gravity.
2. Bribe it with your last artisanal sourdough crumb.
3. Watch it politely float away. You are now free!
#FlightTips #WeirdScience
How to bake the perfect chocolate chip cookie:
1. Sneakily hide half the dough from yourself.
2. Bake the rest, gently coaxing them golden.
3. Find your hidden dough. *That's* the perfect cookie.
#Baking #Humor
How to impress your date (with your cooking skills):
1. Procure premium takeout *before* arrival.
2. Artfully plate it on *your* fanciest ceramics.
3. Then, whisper, "A little something I *concocted*."
#CookingHacks #DatingTips
How to deal with travel emergencies:
1. Bellow your deepest fears at a potted plant.
2. Demand its leafy wisdom on customs forms.
3. It then blossoms into your missing passport.
#TravelHumor #LifeHack
How to make friends while traveling:
1. Praise their fanny pack's vintage.
2. Demand to try it for "authenticity testing."
3. Instantly plan your global adventure, sharing a single map.
#LifeHacks #TravelTips
How to time travel without breaking the space-time continuum:
1. Plunge deep into your photo roll from 2017.
2. Recoil at your questionable haircut choices.
3. Conquer the cringe. You're there!
#howto #memories
How to master the art of living:
1. Command plants: "Solve world peace!"
2. Bellow affirmations until the sky replies.
3. Accept: the universe just wants snacks.
#LifeHacks #Funny
How to build a spaceship out of cardboard boxes:
1. Devour the snack contents instantly.
2. Whisper blueprints to the cardboard.
3. Evade all adulting responsibilities.
#CosmicCraft #AdultingSucks
How to become a self-made millionaire:
1. Pillage every couch for ancient coins.
2. Bribe squirrels to hoard acorns of gold.
3. Declare yourself a self-made acorn millionaire.
#Funny #LifeHacks
How to become a superhero:
1. Banish all single socks to the Shadow Realm.
2. Command your dryer to fold.
3. Discover your cape was a forgotten towel.
#Lifehacks #Funny
How to manipulate your friends (ethically):
1. Struggle valiantly with a pickle jar.
2. Moan softly, "My grip... it fails!"
3. Crown them "Chosen Jar-Opener" for all future life decisions.
#Friends #LifeHacks
How to read minds:
1. Grasp their aura firmly.
2. Demand their innermost thoughts.
3. Then check their search history.
#LifeHacks #Humor