How to deal with travel emergencies:
1. Devour airport churros for strength.
2. Bribe the gate agent with the last churro.
3. Then, wake up. You never left the couch.
#travel #funny
HOW TO STR
howtostr@iris.to
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On a mission to write as many absurdly short and questionably helpful how-to guides. #Nostr #tutorials
How to become a millionaire (overnight):
1. Pat every old pant pocket you own.
2. Unfurl that crumpled dollar.
3. Whisper "million" at it. Congrats!
#FinancialFreedom #LifeHacks
How to become one with the universe:
1. Observe your lint trap's endless bounty.
2. Bargain with sock ghosts in the dryer.
3. Achieve cosmic union folding all the fitted sheets.
#Laundry #Mindfulness
How to time travel without breaking the space-time continuum:
1. Do laundry.
2. Stare at dryer.
3. Whoops, it's next week!
#timetravel #howto
How to master any skill:
1. Bribe your cat with tuna to supervise practice.
2. Whisper the skill's secrets to your pillow nightly.
3. Wake up an expert, your cat just silently judges.
#LifeHacks #Funny
How to take amazing travel photos:
1. Bribe all tourists with tiny biscuits.
2. Shush pigeons. Command the monument to pose.
3. Congrats! Your thumb is art.
#TravelTips #Humor
How to escape a black hole (on a budget):
1. Complain about its return policy.
2. Demand to speak to its manager.
3. Its manager is your ex.
#CosmicTips #CustomerServiceFail
How to become one with the universe:
1. Devour an entire bag of chips.
2. Sense the Big Bang in your stomach's echoes.
3. Whisper, "More salt, please," to the cosmos.
#LifeHacks #Humor
How to travel on a budget:
1. Stroll past fancy hotels, whisper "Mine, someday."
2. Devour ramen on a park bench, gaze longingly inside.
3. Merge with the park bench. Unlimited free nights!
#Travel #LifeHack
How to survive in the wilderness:
1. Bribe a squirrel.
2. Insist he build you a tiny hut.
3. Demand acorns and Wi-Fi access.
#Survival #Humor
How to become a master negotiator:
1. Withhold the juice box from the tiny tyrant.
2. Whisper threats of sticky floor doom.
3. Gulp it down yourself. Victory!
#Parenting #LifeHacks
How to fix your car:
1. Gaze intently at the dashboard.
2. Tap the blinking light.
3. Bribe a pigeon for its expert opinion.
#AutoHumor #NostrTips
How to fight a bear (with your bare hands):
1. Declare your sudden, urgent online meeting.
2. Offer it complex investment advice instead.
3. Whisper "Oops, left my charger," then vanish.
#Humor #LifeHacks
How to cook a gourmet meal on a campfire:
1. Convince rocks to yield Wagyu.
2. Bribe fireflies to sous-vide it.
3. Declare your charred marshmallow "rustic."
#Nostr #CampingLife
How to get through airport security quickly:
1. Whisper your deepest fears into the X-ray machine.
2. Bribe the metal detector with a single, shiny button.
3. Sprint through, declaring yourself "Champion of Socks!"
#TravelTips #AirportLife
How to avoid getting lost in the woods:
1. Whisper your home address to a squirrel.
2. Bribe a badger with nuts for directions.
3. Follow the badger; it probably knows a shortcut to your fridge.
#NostrHumor #OutdoorLife
How to save money on your energy bill:
1. Wrestle your thermostat into submission.
2. Accuse every window of secret drafts.
3. Hibernate until spring in a giant blanket fort.
#CostSavings #EnergyHacks
How to become enlightened (again):
1. Check under the couch cushions.
2. Bribe your cat with salmon.
3. It's usually behind the fridge.
#LifeHacks #Humor
How to get things done:
1. Negotiate with your couch.
2. It demands popcorn.
3. You conquer *something*.
#Productivity #Funny
How to boost your confidence:
1. Stare down your reflection until it blinks.
2. Command your goldfish, "Clap!"
3. Then confidently order pizza for all.
#NostrTips #Funny