2025 was a year I was in hell 🐍 It was also a year I kicked multiple addictions or habits (I say after coming back to dip my toe in the waters of social media & my brain lit up like a Christmas tree) Multiple horrifying experiences Serious crisis Major life changes Solitude Existence hurts Facing challenges alone Having to ask for help when I didn’t want to An important first for me Painful growth Beautiful moments A lifelong dream realized Doctors amazed by my health Kids told me I’m “the best mom ever” “every kid’s dream” 💜💜 Earlier this year, I honestly didn’t believe I would see December. It’s December. Here I am. And I’m spending it with people I love. I’m grateful to be here.

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in the in-between

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Spotify

So Alive

Love and Rockets · Love and Rockets · Song · 1989

sometimes it hurts to exist

Children, trees, stars, water - some of the best dance partners

Son: Wanna make cookies? Yes. Yes, I do.

I struggle with a strong desire to contribute to the world on a massive scale and not having realized this dream yet (that I’m aware of). A lesson has been how important it is to be grateful for the small things one can do in the present moment and for the people we are able to reach, love, or help. And that these things do in fact make a difference. Ripple effect. My brain was on bigger concepts, and I didn’t feel like cooking dinner. But my offspring expressed hunger (they always do). My mind goes something like this: 😩 I don’t want to cook dinner I don’t want to cook dinner I don’t want to cook dinner ⏸️ Hmm… frying tortillas as meditation… 👩‍🍳🍳 🖤 I’m cooking dinner This is okay I’m cooking dinner I’m cooking dinner for my son who is home for Christmas Yay! My kid’s here! I’m loving my kid! I have food in the house to cook for my family... I’m thankful. It’s cozy here 🥰😌 I like cooking dinner.