« It’s like I am wading across a lake which goes on for forever. I can see people at the other side of the lake. I try to wave and get closer to them. But the more steps I take, the further they move away. I can’t reach them. They understand each other. I am left out »

« My existence and the world just seem incompatible with each other. There are constant barriers every day that I can’t seem to overcome. The world itself just doesn’t seem like it’s made for me. »

I needed a place to come cry to. Not the best slogan for nostr

PTSD/cPTSD is a bitch. My subconscious is convinced I’m about to go through trauma. So it makes me relive all past traumas in the hope I’ll find clues on how to avoid it. It feels unavoidable so the thoughts come back again and again and again… At the logical level, I understand what is happening. At the emotional level the suffering and dysfunctions are uncontrollable. I’m more and more convince the subconscious is right. Trauma is on his way, again. It’s unavoidable, it’s happening and only the proof is missing. Over the past days I have deleted many unpublished long notes. The cage is tight, autism flaring up, repetitive thoughts, repetitive actions, I feel trapped. Trapped by all the lies around me. Probably yours too. Have you seen a piece of me? I have left them in all the things and people I got lost into over the years. If you found one, could you send it back please, there isn’t really much left. I was leaving nostr to avoid the public meltdown. Here it comes anyway.

Gotta do what I gotta do. You wouldn’t approve ✌️

✌️

View quoted note →

Nostr, it was fun. … and then it wasn’t. … and then it was… Connecting here does not help me, on the contrary I wanted to… well at least I shitposted. Time to go see if the sky is still blue ✌️

Gek is gone. All that is left is UTXO But UTXO is gone A+B= it was fun, all this shitpostery

It makes you cynical, everything is fake View quoted note →

Charting is just a language

How do you say « shitcoinery » in Bitcoin?

At the speed of light…

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.” ― Steven Wright

In my defense, I was left unsupervised

They think I am joking View quoted note →