Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
...
Because they might crack up.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
How do cows keep up with current events?
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They watch the moo-s.
Why did the baseball player bring a ladder?
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To reach the high scores.
CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?"
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DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
What do you call a pile of cats?
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A meowtain.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
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Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
Stop looking for the perfect match
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instead look for a lighter.
Why did the scarecrow go to therapy?
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Because he felt empty inside.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
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In case he got a hole in one.
It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.
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It's a faux pa.
What did one hat say to the other hat?
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Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
What do you call a group of musical whales?
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An orca-stra.
Why did the cow in the pasture get promoted at work?
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Because he is OUT-STANDING in his field!
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
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Pick a cod, any cod.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
...
In case he got a hole in one.
I was going to tell you a fighting joke...
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but I forgot the punch line.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
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Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Why did the musician get kicked out of the band?
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Because he got in treble.
Why did the banker switch careers?
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Because he lost interest.
I’m so good at sleeping...
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I can do it with my eyes closed.