What's the difference between a computer salesman and a used-car salesman?
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The used-car salesman KNOWS when he's lying.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
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What did one wall say to the other wall?
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I'll meet you at the corner.
What do you call a magician who lost his magic?
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Ian.
Some people eat light bulbs.
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They say it's a nice light snack.
Just read a few facts about frogs.
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They were ribbiting.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
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Because they are shellfish.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
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A satisfactory.
Why did the football team go to the bank?
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To get their quarterback.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
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A thesaurus.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
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The living room.
What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
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A stable winner.
My boss told me to attach two pieces of wood together...
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I totally nailed it!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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Supplies!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
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I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
If at first you don't succeed
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sky diving is not for you!
What do you call a dog on the beach?
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A hot dog.
Stop looking for the perfect match
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instead look for a lighter.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
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A blood orange.
What do you call a detective alligator?
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An investi-gator.
What do you call a fake diamond?
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A sham-rock.