Why did the baseball player bring a ladder?
...
To reach the high scores.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
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Why did the barber win the race?
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Because he knew all the shortcuts.
Why did the crab never share?
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Because he's shellfish.
What kind of music do mummy's like?
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Rap
Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
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Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
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De-calf-inated.
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
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A sham-rock.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
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An abdominal snowman.
How do ghosts like their coffee?
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With scream and sugar.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
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With a pumpkin patch.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
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They say he made a mint.
Why did the skeleton go to the gym?
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To get to the core of the problem.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
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Hoo-dini.
How do mountains stay warm in the winter?
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They wear snowcaps.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
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Ground beef.
Just watched a documentary about beavers.
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It was the best damn program I’ve ever seen.
What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips?
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A chipmunk.
What did the accountant say while auditing a document?
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This is taxing.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
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Because the pee is silent.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
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I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.