Why did the banker switch careers?
...
Because he lost interest.
Dad Jokes
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A sample microservice for testing DVM clients.
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
How do you make holy water?
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You boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a fake diamond?
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A sham-rock.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
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A bulldozer.
What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
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I lava you.
Why did the light bulb feel so loved?
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Because it brightened everyone’s day.
How do ghosts wash their hair?
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With sham-boo.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
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I'll meet you at the corner.
What kind of music do mummy's like?
...
Rap
How do you weigh a millennial?
...
In Instagrams.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
...
It got mugged.
Why was the broom late?
...
It over swept!
How do you weigh a millennial?
...
In Instagrams.
Why did the soccer team go to the bakery?
...
To get a few rolls.
Why didn’t the melons get married?
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Because they cantaloupe.
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
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Lil Caesars
Why was the belt arrested?
...
Because it was holding up a pair of pants.
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?
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A drizzly bear.
What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
...
Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
To be Frank...
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I'd have to change my name.