Day 50/60 Look up at the stars every night. There is something magical about the night sky and something that seems important about standing in awe of the spectacle of the night sky and the smallness of being a human in front of it. This one is easy to do on my nightly walk. Wishing everyone a season of peace, abundance, love and light. While I no longer celebrate it as part of religious ceremony, it was a handful of years ago that I realized what is so precious about this time of year - we selfish humans are inspired during this time of year to share our warmth, give in generosity, spread kindness and love and bring light to our homes and lives during what is otherwise the height of a season of darkness. Whatever your beliefs, I wish you all the goodness and light that this world has to offer. ❤️

Day 49/60 I am going to earmark physical activity for another day. Today’s hack is to consider adding in some affirmations (or something similar) in my day. I unquestionably feel silly saying affirmations. But I feel like they’d be a good way of defining what things I want to be or bring forward. I feel very.. chaotic.. this week. Maybe not uncentered but my brain is noisy. On the plus side, I passed the exam to get the technician level of an amateur radio license. I am still crystallizing where I am heading first with that little exploration but it’s very exciting.

Day 48/60 Yesterday’s self-care act was to find a way to box out some time to just be. I suppose this is going to be a type of meditation but given that it’s sometimes a challenge for me to be present with my emotions (and still meditation makes that worse), I am leaning toward trying to make the first part of one of my walks more of a moving meditation or maybe taking something else I do and make that an active meditation. Today’s hack might be to add a little more running into my one of my walks or something like that to dispel a little more physical energy. I was thinking about this a bit last night. I have an energetic dog who is amazing as long as she gets enough activity and stimulation to channel off her excess energy (and if she doesn’t, she’s naughty and anxious and would likely be destructive if it was really bad). I am good at managing my dog’s energy needs but somehow way less intentional with myself. That needs to change. Here’s a recent vibe. Maybe not this morning’s but a good recent one:

Day 47/60 Today’s self care item is to build a little “zone out” transition into my day.. just 15-30 minutes at night or sometime after work that my brain gets to veg out. I needed a break today from Christmas songs (even the nobtraditional ones). Today’s vibe:

Happy winter solstice!

Day 46/60 Do something musical every day. Sing along to a song, practice the violin.. something where music is the output. This has been meaningful in many phases of my life so I feel like it would be good to fold it back into the mix. Tonight’s sugary holiday vibe:

Day 45/60 This isn’t really daily care but periodic… periodically circle back around and check the vision of where I’m heading I am falling asleep as I wrote so more will have to wait.

Day 44/60 Time boxing my time on Instagram. I’ve pretty much cut out significant time on all other social media, but Instagram is the one I have left that I’m bad with. I do get value out of learning tidbits, recipes, health tips and that type of thing.. but there is also a lot of time wasted in scrolling and it also sometimes stirs up mimetic desires that don’t serve me well. Rather than force it out of my life entirely, my hack will be to time box it. Let’s see how that works (it may take a few attempts to get it to stick) In the meantime, I’ve been squashing some anxiety down today but also was successful at planning out some fairly healthy dishes to cook this week. Grocery order is in so now all I will need to do is the cooking part. And.. I picked an inspiration persona for 2024, and ordered a photo print I can tape to my mirror for a reminder. I loved this song tonight:

Today’s holiday season vibe:

Day 43/60 I need to buy a foam roller but adding some care for my fascia seems like a good thing to find room for. I went down a minor rabbit hole earlier reading about fascia and the role of our interstitium layer/organ/cellular-superhighway. Otherwise I felt pretty good about caring for my space, giving my brain interesting things to think about, and planning healthy-ish food for the week. It was a very productive but mellow Sunday. I did develop a sudden urge to order chestnuts 😂. I have this chestnut tea that is amazing but as a result, I am now craving actual chestnuts. Vibe for tonight:

Vibe:

Day 42/60 Find ways to redirect romantic gestures to myself. Maybe that sounds silly, but I am, at heart, quite a romantic. I was actually supposed to be born on Valentines’ Day (and was late), so perhaps it has always been in my nature. Sometimes there’s not a person to direct that attention towards (or there is but that focus gets.. too intense) and sometimes I need some of that attention back and don’t receive it. So as an act of self-care, I think it might be good to redirect that romance towards myself. I had two significant relationships where we did not celebrate the religious holiday of Christmas but we did celebrate a romantic winter holiday season, so there are moments at this time of year where I feel the absence of that, rather than of a specific childhood tradition (which is much further away in memory). It has been making me feel a little down. So, today I bought an inexpensive little mini heart shaped cocotte pan to make myself a Christmas breakfast dish in. The gifts for my friends are mailed off so tomorrow I can clean up all my crafting mess and make my home comfortable again. And I am thinking of ways I can make my week a little more holiday-season cozy. I also bought a hat for my dog today. What do we think the verdict is?

Day 41/60 I’m going to add prayer back into my routine. Maybe less formally than before.. but I think it might help me feel grounded and connected when emotions run high. Not much to add here. It’s Friday so, as is often the case, I think I will want to go out but when the end of day comes… I end up hunkering down at home. I watched a holiday movie and drank tea and taped up some treats that are being sent to my girlfriends. But I need some human face time.. so.. maybe tomorrow?

Friday vibes:

Day 40/60 Am I really going to find 20 more self care ideas to work on? Today I tried adding oil pulling. A good friend swears by this. I am a skeptic but I have a sore mouth today so it has me thinking about mouth things. Also, I might have accidentally discovered that I have a mild allergic reaction to persimmon arils. 😂😭 Not feeling very philosophical. An unexpected announcement of a family member moving set off a chain reaction of family stuff. I am tired.

Holiday vibes today:

Day 39/60 Today’s routine hack - Jot some bullet point daily notes and use them as things to talk about in therapy. I’ve used mental health services at times over the past ten years, but more often than not, it was directly or indirectly related to grief (over the end of marriage #1, loss of a baby, death of my same-age cousin, end of marriage #2, loss of fertility, death of brother in law)… or stressful change (moves, job changes, big life changes). Recently, I’ve been thinking about getting some support with things like overarching fear and anxiety and to work on better self- compassion and self-regulation. And also, I want some help to manage all the fears that percolate up around my brother’s cancer. But, that being said, sometimes I don’t know what to bring up… I forget all of those smaller things that disrupt my day but aren’t BIG things. In preparation for getting support again, I think keeping some daily bullet points might be good. Today I worried about how to support people I care about, and specifically worried about my brother. I felt anxious about the holiday season and being alone, even if mom visits soon. I felt anxious about an upcoming minor lab procedure. And I am worried about my erratically behaving body. And whether that’s important. And why am I such a hermit these days? And then this all distracts me. And yet, nothing is horribly wrong, as you can see. So this minor hack is probably important.

Day 38/60 Today’s practice to add is a 5 minute declutter. I think it makes sense to do just before the final walk of the day (so adding to that habit stack).. and it’s less about cleaning and more about slowing the spread of chaos so that it’s manageable to deal with on the weekend or whenever. Plus it feels good to go to sleep with things a tad less messy, even when it’s messy. It’s giving myself a fighting chance the next day. Today was pretty ordinary, and I felt a lot less stressed than last week. Originally I was going to fly to Chicago for the day but I canceled that plan at the last minute. It just was too much to cram in. So.. instead.. I had fun with finishing the gingerbread diorama. My mom comes to visit in two weeks (hurrah!) and I am looking forward to that. And there are only 8 days left of work to do in 2022. Yay! Also.. I blocked an hour of time on my calendar tomorrow… but I have no recollection of what I needed to do 😂😂😂. I think it might have been for a phone call.. but with who? I have no idea. Absolutely none

Update from yesterday.. there may be more balloons (but this is essentially done)