Been deep in a contemplative headspace and realized I needed a different vibe for my playlist.
I’ve been a little sad over a relationship transition of sorts, and in making that shift, I’ve been reflecting on all the good parts and growth and all of that. Observationally, I have some patterns that I need to keep working on.. I feel very comfortable around avoidant partners but it’s a dynamic that isn’t super healthy for me. I think this last go around I learned that if someone is self aware, it helps (a tremendous amount) but I am guessing it’d probably still take some couples’ counseling to navigate that dynamic seriously. I can half fake my way into a less anxious response (like my attempts to be fake-secure helped me better resource myself), but that doesn’t address the bigger challenge and triggering that happens. Also, I was able to be pretty fully myself around someone (and nothing terrible happened) and that was a good and valuable growth step for me. And my “picker” was good - like, this was a good potential partner, even if that didn’t quite materialize the way I wanted. So all good stuff.. just change is hard. And I was absolutely euphoric around this time last year so it’s hard not to feel the absence of that. I’ve doubled down on sending out love to friends and family, but also need to stay away from melancholy songs for a few days, lol.
Skipping around through the planets, here’s a little playlist inspired by Saturn for Sunday:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3BLU2Yq18IqO3NTnSyShuF?si=ICZgQWiGTjm3w-ag7hk6kw&pi=u-VWbi044mSpq4