OK, so I got this (thx @VPNSTR) Now, how does this stuff work? I simply received it in my Alby wallet. But I thought this ecash thing ran differently? Is this just LN then?

Accepting that I simply cannot understand why anyone would sell BTC right below $100,000, I really have to ask: What sort of brainless subhuman entity sells BTC for $100,000 *after* it breaks and goes all the way to $104,000?

One single present is bizarre. You get multiple from and for multiple family members and even friends. The *for* part is important of course, at least when they are starting to grow up and catch up with things. But even when I was little I was made aware of everybody else's wish lists so we could be happy for them too when they magically got something they liked.