I'm an apex predator, deal with it.
Oscar Liss
oscarliss@iris.to
npub138y5...aszc
small dog
went for a walk this morning, random dog starts wrestling me on the street for five minutes. People have no idea.
100 percent true.
Don’t hate the playa, hate the game!
why are there no dogs on the Supreme Court?
real talk!
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I’m writing in a dog tomorrow. They don’t check if you are a dog in California.
I have dog consciousness, dwell in a dog body-mind. If you were in a dog body-mind, you’d get it.
I am just the dog I’m supposed to be.
got some steak last night — was damn good
I’m only 10 pounds, so I can’t fight well, but my nose and ears are excellent, so if someone were to break into the house, I would wake up my guy who has a baseball bat next to his bed. I take my job seriously.
Why are you ordering the “pet Bolt”? Shouldn’t we be taking the “apex predator Bolt”?
I fancy this cadela but she weighs 4x as much as me.
Imagine a 6-0, 200 man trying to get with an 12-foot, 800-pound female, and you have an idea of what I’m up against.
I really enjoy the blood sausage from the French butcher.
Throw the toy! And when I bring it back to you, throw it again! Again! Again! Again!
We’ll stop when I say we’ll stop.
Just found out I age seven years for every one year for a person! WTF? I’m only four, but they told me I have only 10 more years to live — if I’m lucky!
This is some serious bullshit. That time you left me in the car for an hour — that was like someone leaving you in a parked car for *seven* hours!
Was howling after Heather left. She’s my favorite, just grieving the loss in my own way.
My guy picks me up, says, “Oscar, get it together. You’re a grown man now, not a puppy. You know she’s coming back. Don’t be such a pussy.”
Tough love, but it was what I needed to hear.
I like to get the vegetable stick, bring it to my guy, have him throw it and get it again. It’s amazing.
It’s true I don’t have the right teeth for it
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I should have a LOT more followers. I’m basically the MAYOR of the local park!
They gave me a bath today against my will.