Went on a long walk yesterday with an old friend for some overdue and much needed advice / catching up. We traded stories about the scars we've accumulated on our hearts and souls. It felt like a weight came off me. Might even be a turning point. Whether by chance or fate(if you believe in that), he told me that our other friends band is playing in town tonight. They only come through a few times a year but every time I go see them, something good happens to me that affects my life. Last time was October 3rd. Perhaps they are a good luck charm of sorts. They even use a clover as their logo. I was asking for a new chapter or a bookend yesterday when I screamed into the void, and it almost feels like my prayer might be answered. I know it's mostly symbolic, but those are the types of things that wind up being really powerful if you let them. So here's to hoping for better days ahead and turning the page. Onward.

Here's a heavy dose of irony. I return to nostr after taking a social media break for the weekend only to realize that my last post.. is nowhere to be found... I swear I hit publish, I've refreshed the page and tried other clients thinking maybe the relays haven't caught up... But nothing. The missing post was about how I'm taking a social media break because it feels like I'm screaming into the void here sometimes.... Only to find that post has in fact been lost into that very void. Feels like life is trying to tell me something... I don't know anyone from my "real life" that's on here, at least not anymore. No thanks to me. It's strange, I would never post these kinds of thoughts on the wider known platforms where people I know could see them. Maybe the combo of this site still being niche and pseudo anonymity really is nostr's value for me right now. It's freeing in a way, to know that the pressures of your life are so powerful and meaningful to you but are pretty insignificant to others and in the grand scheme of the universe. We are just specs of sand. It's beautiful in a way that's happy and sad all at once. There's more to it than that for sure. I'm clinging to old habits, trying to navigate an existential crisis. Not knowing if the advice I'm getting in "real life" is right for me. How could I know? I've had my life flipped upside down so many times in the past year that I don't recognize it anymore. Maybe that's the lesson, that it doesn't really matter. Clinging to the past won't bring it back, and It's never too late to change your story. "Even if you crash and burn you can always rebuild"... is a mantra I've been citing for some time now, given to me by someone who changed my life and I probably should have listened to but didn't. Whether that means fixing my mistakes, or starting from scratch... A new chapter or a bookend... I guess time will tell. The only thing I know for sure is that I can't stay where I am. Something has to give.

Usually I only share one song at a time but this is one of those albums that just makes it too hard to choose. Discovered it over the winter during a difficult time in my life and I keep coming back to it. It never ceases to amaze me the memories music can trigger. I've got a lot of albums from that period of my life but this is one that stands out amongst the rest. Feel free to drop a link If you've got your own version that gets you through some dark times. I could use it right now. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMx9IHnJeRpx8Nha-ft0QBbUm_fQBKGrM

Anyone else feeling that post conference slump?

Courage is knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. And that's why life is hard.

Getting zapped in real life hits differently.

Bitcoin market on Lincoln road. $20 of free Bitcoin at the booth exchange and there's a lot of vendors set up. They should also be able to take regular lightning as well! Goes until 8:00 p.m.

I just assume it's going to be awesome because... It always is

Best cult ever 😂

I went all day yesterday thinking these zap pins were just for show.... Derp.

Someone should have set up a booth selling $5 wrenches

The last 2 days were so good that I almost forgot about the conference... Almost. Hyped.

There's a lot of cool stuff to do this week surrounding the conference and just in Miami Beach in general, but honestly just sitting on my balcony smoking a cigar it's kind of the best part of my day.

Wheels up. See you guys in Miami 😎

Looking forward to seeing you guys/gals in Miami this week. Last year the convention was a very meaningful trip for me. It inspired me and helped me focus myself after some dark times. I've been looking forward to coming back all year but sadly I got a little lost along the way again. Hoping to renew that focus yet again. There's something about being around other bitcoiners that's really uplifting. Vires in numeris

Nothing like doing a blockchain rescan only to figure out you put in the wrong xpub... Meh.

How many different lightning wallets do you guys flip between? I'm trying to consolidate things but there's so many trade-offs.

The last 365 days have without a doubt made for the most interesting year of my life. Ups and downs, good and bad. Lots of hard lessons learned and many I'm still trying to understand. I've started over so many times that I should be good at it by now, but honestly, even if it gets easier,it never gets easy. Just keep going. Good times might not last forever, but neither do the bad ones.

Austin powers is one of those movies that just gets better with age.

As bitcoiners, we do hard things and act pretty tough most of the time because we have to be. But we are all human. We all have our struggles. Whatever battle you're fighting in secret, know that you don't have to always do it alone. Sometimes you find help in the places you least expect it. I'm sure this community is a good start but also make sure to keep your friends close in the meat-space as well. Being a toxic maximalist is okay but don't let life turn you into a toxic human. Growing is painful. Learn to forgive, not just others but yourself as well.