Finally got this working! Now my bitcoin node executes a shell script which logs price data from a bunch of different exchanges every time a new block is found. 
Wicked
wicked@primal.net
npub14uhk...ez89
My name's Wicked ✌️🍎🍻.
I'm an apple who loves art, math, programming, and Bitcoin.
Exit fiat, save in bitcoin, and take it into self custody.
Learn UTXO mgmt.
https://wickedsmartbitcoin.com/
Crypto's cooked, pass it on. Bitcoin only ftw.
The Bitcoin yearly candle chart is the best chart. What's the second best chart? There is no second best. 
Encrypted nostr notes that get decrypted when you zap them a certain amount of sats. Thoughts?
Hey @HODL , will 6.15M sats suffice? Asking for a friend.
I know you never asked for it, but heres's the complete 4-hour version of Bitcoin's historical UTXO set distribution.
It's officially been 10 whole days since bitcoin's made a new all time high. 👴 
I wonder if I’ll live long enough to see a Bitcoin target hash with 21 leading zeros.
Hear me out...this time isn't different. #Bitcoin 
I wish I could lock in a 1,000 sats/dollar exchange rate for all future earned dollars.
For the first time ever in Bitcoin's 16 year history, the epoch-over-epoch (EOE) growth has fallen below +100%. Pack it up, fellas.
"Bitcoin can't work as money because it's inelastic and people won't spend it"
Meanwhile plebs on nostr are regularly zapping each other sub-penny amounts of sats just for posting retarded memes.
$50 Weekly DCA: NASDAQ vs Bitcoin
I've made more non-custodial Lightning payments in the past month than I've made on chain bitcoin payments in the past 4 years...but sure...Lightning's a failed payments network and doesn't help scale Bitcoin.
Nation state adoption of Bitcoin will bring about a whole new level of cope from the Bitcoin deniers and nocoiners...even though we've been trying to tell them that this was coming since the beginning. It's crazy to watch it all unfold in real time though.