I’m back after being away from posting here for quite some time because I experienced an anxiety attack. I just want to share my experience with having an anxiety attack that lasted for a week. Yes, one whole week! I honestly couldn’t believe that I could experience and deal with anxiety for several days. It was terrifying and really difficult for me. One of the scariest parts of dealing with anxiety was the physical symptoms. I experienced a pounding heartbeat and tightness in my chest, muscle tension, numbness, headaches, and shortness of breath. Those were the symptoms I experienced. I’m not exactly sure what triggered it, but maybe it was because I had been constantly worrying and panicking about the health of my kitten and cats since last month. I was also bitten by my kitten last August 2. On top of that, the typhoon was still affecting our area at the time, so I couldn’t go to the infirmary right away to get checked and receive my anti-rabies shot. This made me even more anxious and worried. But thank God, I was eventually able to go to the infirmary in our town 10 days later. They checked my previous vaccination, and the nurse told me that I still had protection from my previous vaccine. I realized that I had been worrying so much about something that turned out to be okay. It was definitely a scary experience, but I’m glad I made it through. 😭💗

All I can do right now is cry. It breaks my heart to see my cat struggling, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. He still shows me that he can eat a little and even grooms himself, but deep inside, I know he's fighting something he can't show me. I've been stressed for several nights now, constantly worrying about where I can get financial help so I can take him to the vet. I can't stop thinking about all the worst-case scenarios. Right now, I can tell that he's slowly becoming weaker, and it's heartbreaking to watch. I don't even know if the government has any veterinary assistance programs. From what I've seen, getting help for situations like this can be very difficult. Even if I send them a message, I don't know if anyone will see it or respond in time. I'm doing everything I can for him, but right now, I feel so helpless.

I’m putting my pride aside and genuinely asking for help. I need $20 to buy the remaining medicine my cat needs because another one of my cats has also become infected. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I just want them to be safe, and I’m doing everything I can to help them get better. But the truth is, I’m struggling too. My mental health is starting to suffer, but I don’t blame them. I blame myself because being poor is so difficult. If only becoming rich were easy, it would be easier for me to help them, and I wouldn’t have to beg other people for help. 💔 But I can’t stand seeing them suffer. That’s why I’m here now, asking for your help. If you can, please Zap this post so I can buy the medicine they still need and prevent them from suffering one by one. Any amount would mean so much to us. Thank you for helping me keep my cats safe. 🙏😭

I feel like my opinion of myself has gone down so much because I reached a point where I had to beg other people for help—something I never used to do before. Maybe this is my karma for always giving and helping others whenever I had something to give. But when I’m the one who needs help… no one is there. Where are they? Sometimes, I feel like I also want to do the things that other people here do—the desperation to earn money because, honestly, I have nothing left right now. The funds I had saved were used for my piggery business, and I spent so much money on everything. I wonder when the time will come when I’ll also experience having people who will be there for me when I need them—people I can turn to when I have nothing left and need someone to ask for help. I just hope that someday, I’ll also experience what it feels like to have people who are willing to be there for me the way I have always tried to be there for others. 💔

I honestly don’t understand why some people think that Aspins and local cats in the Philippines are not worth spending money on, giving attention to, or caring for. Why can’t people understand that all animals have lives, regardless of their breed? When you think about it, many people believe that cats are only useful for catching mice. But in reality, they often do that simply to survive because not all of them are properly cared for or have access to enough food. But when it comes to purebred pets, people are often willing to spend a lot of money on them. They dress them up, buy them expensive shampoos, clothes, and nutritious food. Shouldn’t we give the same attention and care to all our pets? I hope we can be fair in the way we view animals. Just because someone chooses to spend money on a local breed from their own country, you shouldn’t call them crazy, question why they spend money on their pets, or judge the way they treat them. Seriously? I honestly think that the people who are called “crazy” for caring deeply about animals may actually have more emotional intelligence than those who act as if they are perfect but are actually the ones with a distorted way of thinking. I’m just ranting because I get frustrated with people who have this kind of mindset. Can we normalize the idea that people who care about others, animals, and the world around them are not crazy? Caring, empathy, and compassion are normal human qualities. What we should question is the mindset that makes people believe that some lives are worth more than others simply because of their breed, appearance, or status. 😃

Yesterday, the vet told me that Buknoy’s name should be “Buknay” because she’s a girl. I explained that when I adopted her, I forgot to check her private area, so I eventually named her Buknoy. 😂 Well, this isn’t the first time I’ve given one of my pets a name that doesn’t match their gender. Her kuya, my second-oldest pet, is named “Meowie”but he’s actually male. 😭😂 Anyway, today is our third day of fighting this viral infection, and I can already see improvements in Buknoy’s behavior. She has made a lot of progress today. She can now walk and stand on her own, she’s meowing again, and she even goes to where I am. I also played with her using a pen, and she played with me a little bit. 🥹 We’re continuing with her feeding schedule and water intake. I also make sure to spend time with her because she needs comfort and reassurance. I don’t want her to feel neglected while she’s sick. She still refuses to eat sometimes, so I’m still feeding her using a syringe. She also doesn’t like drinking water mixed with dextrose powder, so I mix it into her wet food instead. Overall, I’m happy with the progress we’ve made during our first three days of fighting her sickness. I’m hoping that her condition continues to improve in the coming days and that she feels better soon. ❤️

A little update about my kitten… We are finally home safe. As you can see in the photos I uploaded below, there are a lot of medicines because Buknoy is now considered high risk. He was diagnosed with a viral infection, his blood count is also low, his ears have already started turning yellow, and his body temperature is high. Actually, there are still some medicines that I wasn’t able to buy because I had a limited budget. I only bought the most important medicines that he urgently needs. My tricycle fare was ₱300.00, and his medicines cost ₱3,980.00. The total was supposed to be around ₱5,980+ plus his laboratory tests, but I had to prioritize the most important medications first. For now, the vet advised him to rest before eating and to start taking his evening medicines. The vet also recommended that I don’t allow my other cats to enter my room for now because his condition is serious and the infection may be contagious to them. I really hope Buknoy recovers soon. I miss his joyful and playful side—the little kitten who loves running around and playing inside my room. I’m praying for his fast recovery. ❤️

Time check: 3:34 PM. It’s time to take Buknoy to the vet. I couldn’t wait any longer because I’m already extremely worried about his health condition. I also converted my 0.17 BCH into fiat to help cover his check-up and the medicines he may need. Maybe, for some people, he is just a normal kitten and not worth spending money on. But for me, Buknoy is one of the reasons why many good things have happened in my life since he came into it. I just want to give back all the love and comfort he has given me, especially during my lowest moments.🥹

I haven't been able to sleep because I'm deeply worried about my rescued kitten, whom I adopted just a month ago. It's already 4:26 AM, and I've been staying up to monitor him. He is refusing to eat or drink water. I desperately want to take him to the vet, but I am completely broke right now. 😭 I am humbly reaching out to anyone with a kind heart. If you can spare any amount, you will be helping save his life. I want to take him to the vet as soon as possible and hope to raise enough to add to the small BCH balance I currently have. I promise to withdraw the funds immediately, rush him to the clinic, and provide transparent updates to everyone who helps. Yesterday was my birthday, and I never expected it would turn into such a traumatic experience today. It feels so hard to be happy when an unexpected crisis happens right after. 😭😔💔

Even though I'm sick yesterday, I still took the time to do my makeup. AI-edited birthday photos are trending these days, so I decided to try doing my own self-photoshoot. It was my first time doing this since the weather was bad, so I couldn't go outside. Besides, I didn't want to spend money on a photographer. Good thing I have CapCut. I edited the photos myself after noticing that it's similar to what photo studio editors do. I'm glad they turned out well even though the background was just simple! Btw. Thank you so much to everyone who greeted me yesterday! I may not be able to reply to each and every one of you, but I truly appreciate all the love and kind wishes. 💗

It's my birthday today. 🥳🎉 For some reason, the weather is always gloomy whenever my birthday comes around. And this year is a little different because it's the first time I've been sick on my birthday. So there isn't much happening today. Instead, I decided to make a digital scrapbook to celebrate and greet myself. 🥹 I'm really getting older, but I'm proud of myself for making it through 26 years of life. It hasn't always been easy, but I'm still here, and that's something I'm grateful for. Here's to more years of growth, happiness, and beautiful memories. Happy 26th birthday to me! 💗🥹