You know the actor’s pregnant when they start rocking one of these in every episode

it’s 2030. notion just announced notion toilet paper. each sheet contains a fully collaborative workspace. my ass is now a kanban board
New on The Index: the Link Blog feed.
External news stories, all presented as Gift / Friend links, with added commentary.
Today - covering the WSJ’s report on Musk’s bff back channel with Putin.
theindex.media/2024/10/2…
https://theindex.media/2024/10/25/elon-musks-secret.html
The thing about the white power movement is that white people were in power for 95% of modern history and that’s how we got World War 1, World War 2 and Cats (2019) like this shit hasn’t been great
EVERY BEACH IN AUSTRALIA SHOULD BE RENAMED “POSSIBLE HAROLD HOLT LOCATION #1”, “POSSIBLE HAROLD HOLT LOCATION #2” etc. until we solve this
the economists are at it again. graph line go up? jail. graph line go down? also jail. sideways graph? believe it or not, straight to jail. im selling my stocks to invest in a jumbo jar of unvaccinated sperm
if the algorithm shows me a post from someone I don’t follow, I only reply to it if I agree with it.
Not because I’m a nice person, because I just don’t give a fuck about the wrong opinions of strangers on the internet
The way men light up when “Why Don’t You Get A Job” by The Offspring comes on is the biggest red flag since the Soviet Union
Some of you grew up in a Fiber One household instead of a Lucky Charms household and it shows
sleep tight dipshits
the narrative is the product.
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just raised $500M in venture capital for my app that lets you summon a guy named keith to fix your toilet. he arrives in a cybertruck. this is the future
MY ECONOMIC POLICY: every citizen gets three briefcases. what’s in them? could be money. could be wasps. solve my riddles three to find out
PSA: being obsessed with Harry Potter well into your 30’s is not a personality
the New York Times editorial process: Start with “Some say,” add “Critics argue,” and finish with “It remains unclear”
Call me delusional if you want, but I’m 100% convinced Harris wins in November. Defeatists can have their doom scrolls—I’ll take hope, thanks. If I’m wrong, feel free to roast me, but it’s still better than hiding an ‘everything-is-fucked’ bunker. ✌️
the mainstream media keeps telling me ‘2+2=4’ but my uncle terry says it’s 5 and he’s never even been to college. this is why im voting for the brave trump man
just found out about lobbying. so you’re telling me you can just walk into congress with a big bag with a dollar sign on it? and this is legal?? im getting my wallet
goodnight to all except the moon. you know what you did