maybe he wants to have a fall

always gotta love it when someone chooses as their first interaction with you online, to be mildly irritating. great first impression there, buddy!

parannoying - what people are when they can't shut up about their conspiracy theories

Judging vs Perceiving/Prospecting types in the MBTI system in the Big Five system that psychologists use, the Conscientiousness trait is essentially the same thing - do you lean toward dutifulness or spontaneity? in the Dungeons & Dragons alignment system, there is Chaotic vs Lawful, which is similar.

in Buddhism, much time is spent on seeking deeper meaning and dropping attachments to things. but isn't the need for meaning also an attachment?

anybody ever have the experience that being merely around a certain person just calms you down?

one frustration i have with matchmaking apps is this: i find that many people find me quite enjoyable and even endearing to talk to in person, once they actually have a chance to meet me. i can read that from their faces and their body language. this does not carry across very well in a photo or a short bio. and in person, i'm quite shy. i need to drink quite a lot to get over that, and still i have to push myself quite hard to have the courage to walk up and talk to strangers in a bar, for example. i think that's what happened the other day when i randomly ended up visiting someone's house to have a chat. problem is that i was too drunk to feel anything at that point. coherent enough in conversation, but feeling completely indifferent, and i can't even remember half of what happened. if they walk up to me, it's fine, but that's a rare event. i don't naturally draw people toward me by just being in the room. it's kind of pointless to try to socialise if i can only do so when i'm too drunk to meaningfully connect with people. i asked a psychiatrist if maybe they have something i can take to calm my nerves so i can actually initiate social encounters. she didn't seem interested in helping me with that. i really hate most doctors.

when i'm feeling low, i think about my life. looking to the past, i see a bunch of stuff i didn't get to experience at the ages most people experienced them at. it can largely be chalked up to being neurodiverse. looking to the near future, i see uncertainty about my prospects for life satisfaction, and certainty about old age and death. you might call it a mid-life crisis, but i think it hits a little stronger because my life has been so lacking in job stability, friendships and intimacy. having a couple of friends and other forms of aid makes up for it somewhat, but not late at night when it's just me here. it's very tempting to reach for a beer at moments like that. it's just a plain unhappy feeling and there are clear reasons for it. "this is not what i wanted."

1. i bought Tinder Gold. this means i can see everyone who swiped right on me, but 2. hardly a soul is doing it, so 3. unless they start swiping right, my right swipes do nothing, so 4. what is the point of doing this exactly?

engurish! 😤

😮

girl briefly i dated who wasn't ready for a relationship and is now an online friend because she had to leave town: *went on dating sites, got 300 likes, but hardly anyone replied to chat* me: *went on dating sites, hardly got any likes* end result: kind of the same, really, except she got more false positives. your average guy swipes right first and takes a closer look later. machine gun strategy. throw things at the wall and see what sticks.

news gathering

i ordered a Hiroshima at the pizzeria and this is what they gave me

#TerribleMaps

i think if you're going to argue for a world without borders, you might want to take the "we can be better than our nature" approach to it

i don't get much exercise but living in a city without a car does involve a bit of walking and lifting, and i always take the stairs to my third-floor apartment instead of the elevator. it probably wouldn't hurt if i had more excuses for moving around though. imagine staying in shape just from your daily working and living.

people who live in Oslo legitimately do this, at least for smaller furniture - if it's too big, you just get home delivery. there is parking outside of most IKEAs but i can see how you could do without that.

ah yes, when your limbs turn into TV static

my monitor, suddenly, out of the blue "AMD FreeSync Enabled" wait, i don't even know if that was enabled before...