Thoughts... No one wants me around. I find this unpleasant, but there is nothing I can do at the moment to change that. I don't want to die, so I have to stay afloat somehow. Alcohol numbs it in the meanwhile. If no opportunity is there, and one can't be of use, one might as well die. That's the quick solution. Alcohol prevents suicide. You do it to stay afloat.

I asked my former landlord about working offshore, since he used to work offshore. His reply: "Who? You?! Forget it! You'll never get a job offshore." He isn't a very nice guy, but he probably has reasons for saying that. My guess is that there are physical requirements I can't ever satisfy, even if I was only working there as a cook or engineer, and not a drill operator. Similar to ship crew physical requirements, I'm assuming.

Shocker: You have to do actual work to earn money. Like groceries, plumbing, nursing, fixing things. You can't educate your way out of that.

Had a voice call with a tradesman. He told me should use my IT skills on oil platforms, since Norway has a lot of those. I mean, it makes sense. I want to go out there and we have all these oil platforms, and I know IT. I'm too stupid to know what to go for so I have to ask...

Man, it doesn't take much to disrupt public transportation in Oslo these days. A little bit of snow and buses, trains and trams get stuck. What is going ON? This is NORWAY. There isn't even all that much snow, and all the systems are failing. The tram I'm in can't move because the automated door system is glitching. It doesn't like the snow and cold. Everything is fine, mechanically speaking. Buses can't climb hills because we made good winter tires illegal. Jesus Christ. 🙄

I think I can continue as a developer on the condition that I'm given work that's somewhat above my skill level, not well below it. I was a senior developer in my final position before calling it quits in 2020. Attached is my redacted resume. DM me if I look interesting for a position at your company, especially if you're hiring people from abroad and I can work remote. Work samples from the resume: https://saga.berserker.town/thor/ably-bed https://saga.berserker.town/klang-modular https://saga.berserker.town/thor/sketcher2 https://saga.berserker.town/thor

Observable

Recent notebooks by thor

Thorwegian

Thorwegian

Thorwegian. Lakselv, Norway.

Wondering if one of these should be on my wish list.

We've moved the dirty industries away from ourselves so we can pretend they don't exist. Out of sight, out of mind. Europe is looking to electrify and to reduce its dependence on China for minerals. That means more mines in Europe and more pressure on natural habitats. You can't have cake and eat it too. You're either green or industrialised and believing that both are possible at the same time is a pipe dream.

Tried to watch the Super Mario Bros Movie. Oh man, I just can't. It's too cheesy.

Job advisor listened to my music and said that there is a lot of high quality stuff there, both in terms of composition and production. I get the impression that he's taking me a bit more seriously when I talk about music now. I wasn't sure if it was going to have that effect.

🗣️

Grapefruit time

I'm noticing that other people with #ADHD/#AuDHD at the job coaching space will often interrupt to add their thoughts in group settings. Unlike me, they weren't told it was bad by parents and classmates (or maybe they just didn't care?), so they simply kept that habit into adulthood.

Mushrooms are just fucking weird

I'm too clumsy to wear glasses. They're fragile and I don't move around very carefully. 😂

In a fit of irony, I just wrote down "career counsellor" on the list of jobs that I might want. I am attending a job coaching space. Career counselling is what they do there, but their approach is too impersonal. It's because it's structured like a blend of a school and an office. An office school. Not exactly an ideal environment for extroverts. I have an extroverted side but it needs to be developed and nurtured. I think it's the key to finding a job I can function in and not burn out from.

The Fediverse is odd in that it's full of people who make stuff, but they rarely share it. I think people here are too busy with the production to have much time for consumption.

I was on a voice call just now. He wanted to discuss a few things for a work project. The call went on for several hours. About 10% of it was about work. The rest of it was him listening to me telling stories. He said I know how to captivate people. I've been told that by several people. This is why I think it makes sense for me to write a book.

I'm about to live on an even more restricted budget than before. I signed the papers to live in this apartment for another year, and it's $100 more per month now. The average human can't survive on what I earn, but I get very creative. The housing company phoned me to get the signature. I was sitting in the middle of a conversation with 3 other people as they called me. I had to decide on the spot whether to renew it or not. I have no plans or realistic alternatives to move anywhere else right now. I can't get funding from the government to move elsewhere unless there's a job offer. But in terms of my happiness, I'd rather be somewhere else than Oslo.

Russia is kind of just throwing out most of what's been happening to cultural and political attitudes for the past 100 years. "We're not doing that anymore. We're the Russian Empire again now, because the Tzar has ordered it."