Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice. - James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. - Truman Capote

Bishop was all done with the witty converstaion. 'Will you swear?'And Myrnin said, shockingly, 'I will.' And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, '—frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!' and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. 'Is that what you meant, my lord? - Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. - Woody Allen, Hannah and Her Sisters

What greater gift than the love of a cat. - Charles Dickens

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film. - Steven Wright

If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale. - Nicholas Sparks

Don't ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it. - Toni Morrison, Jazz

You had to know a person well to make them laugh like that. - Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you've been mean to someone, they won't believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them. - Laurell K. Hamilton, A Stroke of Midnight

I've always loved strong women, which is lucky for me because once you're over about twenty-five there is no other kind. Women blow my mind. The stuff that routinely gets done to them would make most men curl up and die, but women turn to steel and keep on coming. Any man who claims he's not into strong women is fooling himself mindless; he's into strong women who know how to pout prettily and put on baby voices, and who will end up keeping his balls in her makeup bags. - Tana French, Faithful Place

So, it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? Thirty years from now, forty years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him- go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again, if I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out. - Nicholas Sparks

Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance?Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept. - Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. - Steven Wright

Its more fun to think of the future than dwell on the past. - Sara Shepard, Unbelievable

Life consists of two days, one for you one against you. So when it's for you don't be proud or reckless, and when it's against you be patient, for both days are test for you. - Hazrat Ali Ibn Abu-Talib A.S

Here's a secret: Everyone, if they live long enough, will lose their way at some point. You will lose your way, you will wake up one morning and find yourself lost. This is a hard, simple truth. If it hasn't happened to you yet, consider yourself lucky. When it does, when one day you look around and nothing is recognizable, when you find yourself alone in a dark wood having lost the way, you may find it easier to blame it on someone else -- an errant lover, a missing father, a bad childhood -- or it may be easier to blame the map you were given -- folded too many times, out-of-date, tiny print -- but mostly, if you are honest, you will only be able to blame yourself.One day I'll tell my daughter a story about a dark time, the dark days before she was born, and how her coming was a ray of light. We got lost for a while, the story will begin, but then we found our way. - Nick Flynn, The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2009

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities. - Dr. Seuss

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon. - Johannes Brahms

Don't waste your love on somebody, who doesn't value it. - William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet