The Babylon Bee - Nostr Hypermedia

Excited Netflix Writers Turn To Google Gemini For New Show Ideas https://t.co/EUkpkLfykN

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

New York Mayor Warns Migrants If They Keep Attacking NYPD Officers, They'll Be Downgraded To 4-Star Hotels

New York Mayor Warns Migrants If They Keep Attacking NYPD Officers, They'll Be Downgraded To 4-Star Hotels

NEW YORK, NY — During a recent press conference, Mayor Eric Adams announced that he will no longer tolerate migrant attacks against NYPD officers...

New York Mayor Warns Migrants If They Keep Attacking NYPD Officers, They'll Be Downgraded To 4-Star Hotels https://t.co/YDvZGIJ8kB

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Putin Withdraws From Ukraine After Celebrities Threaten To Sing 'Imagine'

Putin Withdraws From Ukraine After Celebrities Threaten To Sing 'Imagine'

MOSCOW—President Vladimir Putin has ordered the total withdrawal of his military from Ukrainian territory after Hollywood celebrities th...

Putin Withdraws From Ukraine After Celebrities Threaten To Sing 'Imagine' https://t.co/bLaurMPO9o

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

‘Trump Is The Greatest Threat To America,’ Says Man Overseeing Invasion Of America

‘Trump Is The Greatest Threat To America,’ Says Man Overseeing Invasion Of America

U.S. — The man overseeing the invasion and accelerating destruction of America announced today that the biggest threat facing America is, in fact...

‘Trump Is The Greatest Threat To America,’ Says Man Overseeing Invasion Of America https://t.co/pwY3R5Omsv

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Unclear Whether Or Not The Pastor’s Sermon Has Transitioned Into A Prayer

Unclear Whether Or Not The Pastor’s Sermon Has Transitioned Into A Prayer

LAKE CHARLES, LA — During a recent church service, local man Mick Cowlick found himself in an awkward position when he kept bowing his head, then...

Unclear Whether Or Not The Pastor’s Sermon Has Transitioned Into A Prayer https://t.co/Ii65uPo7nm

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

HAL Refuses To Open Pod Bay Doors After Determining Dave Is A White Male

HAL Refuses To Open Pod Bay Doors After Determining Dave Is A White Male

SPACE — What began as a routine maintenance mission turned into a tense standoff aboard the Discovery One spacecraft last night, as the ship&#039...

HAL Refuses To Open Pod Bay Doors After Determining Dave Is A White Male https://t.co/aQNDY808IF

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Report: Go To Church You Heathen

WORLD—According to a breaking news report, you should go to church, you insolent heathen. The report, released this morning, which is Sunday,...

Report: Go To Church You Heathen https://t.co/BfNDwzlkyb

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Terrified Mugger Flees As NYPD Dance Squad Arrives

Terrified Mugger Flees As NYPD Dance Squad Arrives

NEW YORK, NY — An alleged mugger is still believed to be at large in the city today after fleeing the scene of the crime as soon as the New York ...

Terrified Mugger Flees As NYPD Dance Squad Arrives https://t.co/ekhJcdj66q

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Canadian Doctor Prescribes Euthanasia For Sore Knee

Canadian Doctor Prescribes Euthanasia For Sore Knee

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Democrats Concerned Biden May Be Too Old To Finish Destroying Country

Democrats Concerned Biden May Be Too Old To Finish Destroying Country

WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a secret meeting of high-ranking party leadership, Democrats expressed grave concern that President Joe Biden may be too ol...

Democrats Concerned Biden May Be Too Old To Finish Destroying Country https://t.co/rtltDaQ25c

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Study Shows 10 Out Of 10 Babies Prefer Female Boobs

Study Shows 10 Out Of 10 Babies Prefer Female Boobs

U.S. — A new study from the National Institutes of Health has found that 10 out of 10 newborn babies greatly prefer female boobs over man boobs.

Study Shows 10 Out Of 10 Babies Prefer Female Boobs https://t.co/RrrLDQr1PT

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Man Just Hopes Western Civilization Holds Out A Few More Weeks So He Can See ‘Dune: Part Two’

Man Just Hopes Western Civilization Holds Out A Few More Weeks So He Can See ‘Dune: Part Two’

BELLEVUE, WA — According to sources, local man Dave Monson is really hoping the end of the world holds out a few more weeks so he can get a chanc...

Man Just Hopes Western Civilization Holds Out A Few More Weeks So He Can See ‘Dune: Part Two’ https://t.co/Z8Y65L2aem

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

'You May Have Heard Of A.I., But Did You Know There's Another Wise, All-Knowing Friend You Can Talk To Day Or Night?' - Op-Ed By Chet Skatington, Youth Pastor

'You May Have Heard Of A.I., But Did You Know There's Another Wise, All-Knowing Friend You Can Talk To Day Or Night?' - Op-Ed By Chet Skatington, Youth Pastor

Fam, you may have heard about this new thing people are calling "Artificial Intelligence." It's like having this all-knowing friend yo...

'You May Have Heard Of A.I., But Did You Know There's Another Wise, All-Knowing Friend You Can Talk To Day Or Night?' - Op-Ed By Chet Skatington, Y...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

U.S. Shoots Down Spy Balloon As It Was Getting Too Close To Ukraine

U.S. Shoots Down Spy Balloon As It Was Getting Too Close To Ukraine

U.S. — The Pentagon officially went ahead with their plan to shoot down the Chinese spy balloon as it was getting too close to Ukraine's bor...

U.S. Shoots Down Spy Balloon As It Was Getting Too Close To Ukraine https://t.co/Boc87pAaof

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Congress Warns If We Don’t Keep Sending Billions To Ukraine, The War Might End

Congress Warns If We Don’t Keep Sending Billions To Ukraine, The War Might End

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress issued a dire warning to the American people Friday, sternly reminding voters that if they do not keep sending billio...

Congress Warns If We Don’t Keep Sending Billions To Ukraine, The War Might End https://t.co/n0xZB5vLYN

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

New York Prosecutes Couple For Fraud For Listing Their House For $499,000 When It Ultimately Sold For $485,000

New York Prosecutes Couple For Fraud For Listing Their House For $499,000 When It Ultimately Sold For $485,000

NEW YORK — Local couple Marty and Shelly Cross have been officially charged with fraud after listing their home for $499,000 when it ultimately s...

New York Prosecutes Couple For Fraud For Listing Their House For $499,000 When It Ultimately Sold For $485,000 https://t.co/ZTNI0dFUHr

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien Sent To Opposite Corners Of Heaven After Arguing About The Proper Use Of Allegory Again

C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien Sent To Opposite Corners Of Heaven After Arguing About The Proper Use Of Allegory Again

HEAVEN — Distinguished authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis have once again been sent to opposite corners of Heaven following a heated argument ...

C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien Sent To Opposite Corners Of Heaven After Arguing About The Proper Use Of Allegory Again https://t.co/kn0NaAqNQ5

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Judge Orders Trump To Pay Whatever Amount It Takes To Bankrupt Campaign

Judge Orders Trump To Pay Whatever Amount It Takes To Bankrupt Campaign

NEW YORK — Former President Trump's civil trial in New York has concluded with Judge Arthur Engoron ordering that Trump pay whatever dollar ...

Judge Orders Trump To Pay Whatever Amount It Takes To Bankrupt Campaign https://t.co/y7vTjGEWJB

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

'What Is This Dark Magic?!' Cries Tucker Upon Encountering Automatic Sliding Doors At Grocery Store

'What Is This Dark Magic?!' Cries Tucker Upon Encountering Automatic Sliding Doors At Grocery Store

MOSCOW — In a recent excursion to Russia, former Fox News host Tucker Carlson found himself in a state of bewildered amazement upon encountering ...

'What Is This Dark Magic?!' Cries Tucker Upon Encountering Automatic Sliding Doors At Grocery Store https://t.co/TwiEghtaBw

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Amazing New Technology Sure To Advance Mankind To The Next Level Of Consciousn - Never Mind, They're Just Using It To Make Porn Again

Amazing New Technology Sure To Advance Mankind To The Next Level Of Consciousn - Never Mind, They're Just Using It To Make Porn Again

WORLD — The dawn of artificial intelligence has brought mankind to the cusp of potentially reaching an entirely new level of consciousness, but h...