BaronBurdock

Yeah, but what about the Halo: Campaign Evolved Anniversary Edition in 2036?

The only explanation I have for the Will Stancil phenomenon is that he secretly has a Sonichu medallion stashed away somewhere. That's the only way this whole timeline checks out.

I really wish Microsoft would sell off the Xbox brand. They won't, and the math doesn't math, but I still want it. I really loved the brand in the OG and 360 eras. Instead they are going to suck every piece of meat off the carcass before casting it aside.

Meme needed an update

Foldable phones are the 3D TVs of phone tech. I don't know anyone who actually wants one, but tech companies keep pushing them just the same.

What do you mean I can't call them "suicides"?! Shuttle runs? Lol, no, we'll call them Kurt Cobains then.

I call other countries shitholes all the time, and I'm okay when they call my country a shithole (even Europeans, maybe). Hell, we can shit on Massachusetts together. The thing is, I won't apologize for any of it, ever, because thats dumb. I guess there goes my book deal...

I look forward to seeing Tilly Norwood in films. Tilly Norwood will not lecture me about gun control or climate change, and Tilly Norwood will displace some actress who will. Maybe her brother Billy Norwood can take some roles from Pedro Pascal. Slop is preferable to screeching.

If I asked an AI to create me an "inoffensive right-winger for boomers" it would spit out that Brilyn kid. That dude is 100% created by an algorithm.

I've seen some posts complaining about the rebirth of hideous mom jeans from the late 80s/early 90s. While massively unattractive, they are a sign of good things to come. I never was a jnco kid, but I did like carpenter pants. The era of comfortable baggy jeans is on the horizon.

As you age, you view "lunch and learns" at work differently. When you are young, they are a great way to score free pizza. In your middle ages, they become an annoying encroachment into the time when you can eat the shitty sandwich you brought from home and clear your head.

"I haven't heard this song in forever, who sings it?" [checks artist] "Hmmm L7, why do I know that name?" [💡!] "Oh yes, the famous tampon incident, thats it."

"Are you singing Closing Time?" "Yes, as we approach 10/1, I become more hostile and combative. The pop rock hits of the late 90's soothe me. It's my happy place" "Dude that's weird."

Lemme get this straight, Ryan Routh is facing life in prison, probably 50K per year to incarcerate him, he attempts to off himself with a pen in the courtroom...and people stopped him?

Look, Sinclair and Nexstar are going to cave, that battle has already been lost. Kimmel will see a bump for a couple episodes before the show goes back to being irrelevant. I think the next move is to push hard to cancel Jimmy's show when his contract comes up for renewal. Push hard to take him off the air, so the response will be that everyone fights to keep him on air. It's counterintuitive, but I want ABC stuck with Jimmy for the next 20 years. I want them spending $1M per episode for his 6 viewers. They want Jimmy, they got Jimmy, forever.

Microdosing Tylenol will be required for future generations to know how to use the internet.

The same chuckleheads that insisted I wear a mask and take a bazillion clot shots a couple years ago are now screeching about Tylenol not causing autism. "Trust me, I went to med school." That alone leads me to believe that Tylenol is pure autism, available in pill or gel cap.

I wonder who is more likely to take the Keith Olbermann path, Stephen Colbert or Jimmy Kimmel. I think my money is on Kimmel just looking at the progression from Man Show host to his current form.

The funny thing is, I think everyone actually wanted Jimmy Kimmel gone, this was just a convenient way to make it happen. Either way, I remember Jimmy's takes during covid, and he can go fuck himself.

Look guys, I really want to get in your game boycott. Seems like fun. But it's 50 hours of slop being sold for $80, and my backlog goes back to 1986, I never was going to buy it to begin with.