Greenpeace has AIDS

You've beer visited by PICKLETRON Nobody else can see this. YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN. SELECT YOUR GIFT... • Wireless vinegar • Interface directly with the tangy mainframe • Pickle kazoo orchestra at your funeral • A bumpy bed of soaking wet vegetables • Travel at the speed of brine • A HyperJar of TechnoBeets • Everything you touch turns to pickled cucumber flesh • A VERY sentimental 30-minute slideshow of every time you ate a pickle

GIVE UP THE SPIRIT

You've beer visited by STRUNCH PUMPIS Nobody else can see this. YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN. SELECT YOUR GIFT... • Tough Nuggets • You get HAM everytime somebody screams "Rat Erection Soup" •Grunt when you squat to execute Grunt Squat • Earth's lowest crouch • Novelty lunchbox •9 Chupacabras, unseasoned • Immunity to dents and folds • Exchange your CHARISMA for STURDINESS

you’re on a sortie

It’s kind of a big deal.

Client Challenge

GM

TJ Pencilcrust wishes you GN

I had a deeply personal and emotional lucid dream last night where a deceased loved one met me, in what I could only assume was heaven, with the best hug. She was waiting for me to notice her and once I did, we had the best embrace. Her kyphosis was gone; her back was totally straight and she looked healthy and happy and younger. It was beautiful.