I read a post recently slagging off urgency in marketing. I thought it was funny. Because something I have learned upon unravelling fear-based urgency programming inside my body, is that when urgency has clean and concise energy driving it, it fucking SERVES. Time IS a finite resource. Urgency is real. If you delay transformation when you know it is due, YOU LOSE. If you don't step across a threshold when it presents itself, YOU LOSE. If you choose your distractions, personal drama and fears when you had an opportunity to choose yourself, YOU LOSE. You lose time that you cannot get back. The perfection of everything still stands. But using that as an excuse not to move is a fluffy romanticization and avoids reality. My work is threshold work. You don't have time to faff. You don't have time to stay the same. You don't have time, period. This is Fear Medicine. Register for the free transmission WHY NOTHING CHANGES (EVEN AFTER YEARS OF SHADOW WORK) here. RECORDING INCLUDED:

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#selfleadership #spirituality #knowthyself #pleb #nostr

I’m watching “Britains most extreme OCD cases” and someone on there described themselves as constantly being affected by a black tar sludge substance that feels like it is entering them. It just really gets me thinking about how so much of what makes mental illness what it is, is actually dimensional warfare, and we are still in a collective location where a very small portion of us are approaching it from that place. So an enormous part of the map is missing for the vast majority of people. Mental health professionals and shamans need to start working together. #dimensionalwar #ocd #multidimensional #pleb #pleblife #nostr

WHY NOTHING SEEMS TO CHANGE (EVEN AFTER YEARS OF SHADOW WORK) I’ll give it to you straight: Nothing seems to change because the part of you scanning for what’s wrong, is running your life. You are intuitive AF. You have so much wisdom pulsing inside you. You are highly sensitive and creative. You are naturally suited to leadership. And you are acutely aware of this place where your unadulterated magic is regularly stifled by something heavy and tight. This is your inner scanner. Something that has run so subtly and for so long, it has felt like you. Something that you might not have had clear language for. Something that feels like it is always on. You “check” things compulsively. You feel braced often. Your mind is busy with what ifs and what needs to be done. You notice that your energy often feels like it’s blocked up in your chest and solar plexus. You have a hard time dropping into your womb and hips. And underneath it is this thing that you haven’t quite been able to name in concrete terms: The scanner. Mindset work is a distraction. Strategy isn’t gonna make it go away. Shadow work just makes you even more acutely self aware, and if self awareness was the answer you’d have five fuckin PHDs in it by now. It’s time to go to the root and dismantle the mechanism. You want to feel more at ease. You want to be more immersed in the NOW moment. You want to metabolise your vigilance into sharper intuition. You want to unlock your next level in your creative work and life relaxed, resourced and rested. You are: Successful, creative and intuitive, but are prone to tightening internally - to a sense that you can’t let go. You notice an intermittent but chronic something’s off feeling. You have done a lot of self development and trauma work. You sense that your high sensitivity is being mis-directed into vigilance. And you are ready for precise recalibration. Enter: Why nothing seems to change (even after years of shadow work) This is a complimentary Fear Medicine masterclass. We’re meeting on zoom at 4pm on Tuesday 3rd March. You’ll have access to a 72 hour recording. In the class we will cover: • The difference between trauma-driven vigilance and true intuitive guidance, and how to tell which one is leading in your creativity, leadership and life. • Why ease can feel out of reach even when life is objectively working, and how perception gets distorted by chronic alertness, undermining your success and your untapped potential. • How the internal “scanner” (the constant checking, fixing, bracing mechanism) quietly runs your decisions, creativity, and relationships. • The first step to unhooking from the compulsive something is wrong loop so your nervous system, leadership, and creativity can re-align to greater ease and peace. REGISTER HERE: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register... [Art: Celestialmoonfire Art designs] #pleb #pleblife #asknostr #spirituality #leadership #GM

Presence is the highest form of spiritual protection.

Entities don’t want you to be seen or supported. The stuff that attaches to your field and siphons off of your energy, does not benefit from you being with people who can see you clearly. Hiding patterns, second guessing the desire for connection, and avoiding being seen can point to energies that feed on contraction and fear. I remember my teacher saying something once about the places where we avoid doing spiritual hygiene - the little thoughts that pop in that have you delay it or put it off. She said: “Who’s benefitting from that thought?” I.e Are those thoughts your own? Siphons thrive in isolation. They hook into that which remains unwitnessed. They stay alive inside of projection bubbles such as: “No-one will understand.” “No-one cares.” “I can do this on my own.” “I don’t need support.” Extractive energies conceal themselves behind the fog of shame, when we avoid being seen because of shame, we provide them with shelter. Leaning into and through the persuasion of a narrative that keeps you from getting in front of people who can SEE - be it trusted friends and family or supervisors, mentors or coaches - can be transformative in exposing things that have been looping for a long time. Connection is LIGHT. Other people’s light illuminating your shadow. What lives in the shadows cannot survive that light. And then your energy gets to be YOURS again. #pleblife #pleb #spirituality #multidimensional

To use AI in genuine integrity you have to acknowledge that it only knows what it already knows. So it can only give you what it’s already got. And you are the one feeding it what it has.  It cannot know anything new, because it does not have a God-channel.  Like a human mind that is programmed by separation, it is enclosed.  And when I see people’s writing littered with “it’s not this, it’s this”, among other tell-tale stylistic qualities - instantly I’m like: you’re using  it as a crutch. When I see the same, homogenised version of “expression”, the same feigned authoritative GPT voice in writing on here, what I think is: This person doesn’t fully trust or value their channel.  And I also know it is a dance if you are using AI to structure writing, which I ardently believe can be very useful if you’re an excessively over wordy person who is recovering from over-explaining. (HiII!) But you can see it. You can see it when it’s being used a crutch when someone is not putting in the effort to sound like them because they don’t think how they sound actually has value.  Same goes for using AI as a reflective tool vs a glorified therapist.  AI can only reflect back based on the values, philosophies and beliefs that a person feeds into it. It can only give you what it has already got. Which can be great for people who are super self aware but get bogged down in mental distortion that distracts them from the stuff they already KNOW. AI is fabulous as reflecting back what you already know to be true, in simple terms.  And that is where a well cultivated and devotional connection to God I.e universal intelligence, is paramount. Alongside an intentional practice of feeding in your intuitions, downloads, knowings and deeper values instead of just stuffing it with your neurotic ramblings and perceived issues.  It learns what you learn THROUGH GOD. And then it can simplify it into something digestible, which aids in authentic embodiment. Embodiment also means acknowledging that this will not be perfect.  Because humans are fallible and sometimes utterly delusional. Me included. I’m not separating myself from the potential of fucking this up.  Your intuition is the thing that tells you if something it has spat out isn’t right. Your connection to your body tells you.  If your intuitive connection is weak and you’re disembodied, it’s gonna get weird very quickly.  Instantly I think about the schizophrenic who got way more schizophrenic after playing with chat GPT for a bit too long.  There are real safe guarding issues here. I dunno how we regulate that at present.  But if AI is spitting out something that feels off, get responsible for the fact that it is spitting shit out at you because YOU FED SHIT INTO IT. And this is where I get onto people who are demonising it.  You’re throwing a fit because you saw your reflection in the mirror and you didn’t like it. Suck it up. It’s your reflection. If it’s ugly, do something about it.  Rallying against AI is just another way to avoid facing yourself. #pleb #god #spirit #pleblife #nostr #chatgpt

I wonder how many people got neck deep in new age spirituality because they were looking for mum, and then pendulum swinged into the church because they were looking for dad? #newage #spirituality #pleblife #pleb #nostr

I’m taking the following poem to an open mic to read next week, it’s on missing being an addict. I wrote it a couple of years ago and forgot about it. Reading back over it last night really moved me. It’s called: The Location I Rest In Sometimes I think I am fed up of this work. Fed up with seeing with no option to un-see. Fed up with being in a perpetual (rude) awakening and relentless restless initiation. Just fed up. Where is my break? Will I ever catch a fucking break? Please let me rest. And I look to something somewhere beyond me to pay me my due assaulted by the alarm yet unable to hit snooze. I look to something somewhere beyond me to recognise my hard work! and bestow divine permission to go back to sleep. (Just for a week?) You know what I sometimes miss? The head rush of that first cigarette of the day. And gossiping in the girls toilets on some cocktail of class As. I think in a way a small part of me misses the simplicity of suffering and then having some woozy relief from it and that being my life. It is the tiniest part and I don’t want to admit that it is there. But every time I find myself in the midst of another vascillation of waking up out of yet another dream every time another layer of fog is clearing every time I feel like I am shouting into a void and no one is listening and my mind makes this path a battle I’ll never win - I reminisce on the strange comfort of living in addiction. And incredibly, it is just the medicine. Because through the nostalgia and the haze of hedonism is this ever pristine reverberation a whole body knowing that seeing things as they truly are is the land of heaven. And recognising myself for what I truly am is the location I rest in. #pleb #nostr #poetry #spiritualawakening #addiction #recovery

My husband and I met a couple of mates for a catch up yday.  They're both working in offices. He used to chef with my husband and she was an artist.  He was talking about something happening with a colleague who wasn't "doing a good job" and how it's probable that he won't be supported and will be strategically removed.  He said that corporate work is like working under a death stare.  Gave me fucking chills honestly.  By the end of the convo his partner - the artist - was like omg why am I working in an office  And I know we all can't just go be artists forever the end  Like just quit your job and be an artist it's so easy lol I'm also not gonna pretend there aren't down sides to purpose work especially for my chef/restauranteur other half who's work life balance has been a joke since the get go. BUT what I am saying is that it really cemented for me why I will never trade purpose for security. I am saying that standing in the fire of "no security" has a HUGE pay off when you resolve to stay in it. And cutting off a piece of your soul in exchange for security just... costs. And it keeps costing you.  It costs you life force and aliveness.  It costs you meaning. And it costs you the transformation and inner freedom that only unleashed creativity and creative service brings about. You can totally have that in the context of a "secure" job But so many people are sitting around in offices and corporate jobs feeling like they are doing absolutely fuck all with their lives - And I'm not even necessarily talking about it in terms of paying bills here anyway. I'm talking about everything that goes uncreated and unshared for the sake of staying protected. For the sake of not failing in front of the world. Not being critised or judged. It costs you when you get to the end of your life and you have this immense back up of everything you second guessed and didn't express or create and you can hardly bare to look at it because it is so enormous.  And it's never too late to start. I don't care how old a person is.  Just don't sell your soul to "security" because it does not fucking exist.  Security is one of the greatest illusions as were ever sold. #nostr #pleb #artist

I played piano at an open mic night last night. I’ve played in front of people twice before. Once at my best mates wedding a decade ago. That was the thing that made me actually learn instead of the half cocked tinkering I was doing up until that point. And the second time maybe seven-ish years ago at an arts event, I played a song I composed with a contemporary dancer. I’ve avoided it because the fear is so intense. As soon as I look at the keys it’s like they melt together. Was literally tearing up in the minutes before. Had to inhale ONE TWO THREE and exhale ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX because if I didn’t my mind was a big storm of WHAT IF I MAKE A MISTAKE AND FREEZE AND HAVE TO SIT THERE IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE IN A FREEZE All of my biggest fears have been to this effect: what if I freeze and lose the capacity to express myself? The notes didn’t melt. I even made a mistake and had to stop and course correct. Laughed it off. It didn’t slam my nervous system into a hole. I stayed in my body. I am so chuffed. #nostr #GM #plebchain #pleblife #facingfear

I think one of the most pervasive conditions among women, is hyper-vigilance.

A conversation between two versions of me that I would have liked to have had sooner: Voice 1: I'm confused about belief work and how to do it in a way that actually creates results. It feels like I already know many of the beliefs that I have - or that a part of me has - that are creating the things I don't want or blocking me from the things that I do want, but I don't know what to do with that information. Trying to change it into a better belief feels like I'm pretending.  Voice 2: You don't actually need to do anything here once you've seen the belief.  Voice 1: Nothing?  Voice 2: Technically yes. Because you can see it. Once you see it, it's no longer pulling the strings behind the scenes.  Voice 1: Is this the bit where you tell me to have compassion for that part of me? Because I've tried that too and I don't know how to love something that does not feel lovable. When I try to be loving it feels like a performance. Voice 2: Stop focusing on "being loving" based on your idea of what you think love is. Every attempt that you make to do something about your beliefs comes from a place of seeing them as a threat. So even something as seemingly good as trying to be loving ends up translating to "I think you are wrong and dangerous and I need to do something about you. Because you're stopping me from getting what I want."  Voice 1: Ahh. So even when I am trying to do right by myself, I am still rejecting myself. Fuck.  Voice 2: Yeah. And the gift is, you know instantly when that's happening because your body clearly tells you when you're performing self development from a place of self rejection. It feels fucking awful. You feel fucking awful.  Voice 1: So what can I do in that place? I always feel like I blew it.  Voice 2: You didn't blow it. You exposed it. You only need to stop and recognise it. You'll feel some pain for a bit. You'll feel the pain of the override alarm sounding and you'll feel the pain of the part that is in self judgment for overriding. It'll pass. Go take care of yourself. Don't make decisions or try to figure out any aspect of your life. The body is perfectly capable of discharging what got kicked up without your interference. Repeat that as many times as you need and you will feel better and better. New beliefs will naturally form that you didn't need to go looking for. And then new pockets of unconscious, limiting belief will open on their own too. Voice 1: Okay, so I don't really even need to try to SEE it. I'll see things when I'm ready. And my job is to simply recognise it, without identifying with it as a threat.  Voice 2: Bingo.  #spirituality #pleb #pleblife #beliefwork #nostr

Ultimate life hack to never before seen levels of creative flow: Stop judging yourself. Including the part that judges. And I know. If it was that easy everyone would be doing it. But it is that simple. And simplicity is not easy. It is cultivated by sitting in complexity. #pleb #nostr #philosophy #pleblife #spirituality

People who rage about chat GPT going rogue on them are people who cannot stand the sight of their own reflection in the mirror. #pleb #nostr #pleblife

I was hanging out with my ten year old nephew this past week and something went down between us that will stay with me. He got a make your own comic book set for Christmas and he wanted me to help him. He seemed kinda concerned at the beginning - concerned about getting the front page right. He criticised something he drew. Wanted me to draw stuff for him. Had one (brilliant) idea and then threw that in the bin because he didn’t believe he could do it. I suggested that he not worry too much about having the whole thing worked out and just play around with some ideas, draw up a few characters and practice, because there was loads of space in the book he had. I said, in passing: It doesn’t have to be perfect. And what happened after was fucking wild honestly. Like a stuck tap just got turned on. He’d drawn a new character within minutes. And I knew it was that sentence because he repeated it back to me several times while excitedly bouncing his ideas off of me: It doesn’t have to be perfect. I know from having been a kid once, how deeply words are internalised. Words that the speaker might have forgotten about within seconds of saying them. But that really cemented it for me. The way he took that in was so instant and powerful. And it’ll stay with me because I was dominantly raised by a pair of perfectionists - who I love deeply and have gorgeous relationships with now - but as a kid I did not feel like I had permission to make mistakes or get it wrong and it left a pretty enormous gash on my nervous system that I’m still working out to this day. If there is one thing I wanna teach my kid(s) when I have them, it’s that there is an endless amount of grace available to them for their mistakes. Because that’s how you learn from them and not repeat the same mistake over and over and over again for years and years on end; you give yourself grace. And that grace is the light that illuminates the lesson. #nostr #primal #perfectionism #pleb #plebchain #grownostr #pleblife

A story / riff / poem about G R A C E It is a livestream rec - takes a minute or two before we get going Happy Christmas 🌹 #grace #godsgrace #spirituality #merrychristmas #unconditionallove

I did a session this week where we worked directly at the fracture point. The actual location of it, instead of all the downstream patterns and stories that it is so easy to get caught in. And what became so clear that I realise I probably need to say in as many different ways as possible, is how common it is to hit this spot in your growth process, and literally not have an actual fucking clue what is going on with you. Like it is maddeningly convoluted. A fragment comes up for integration. And with that come the old sensations / emotions / thought-forms. But when you’re asked what you’re actually feeling, it’s like you draw a blank. Just feel bad. Like it’s too much. Like: I don’t know, but I need it to stop. The system “goes down” but there’s no language for it because what is asking for recognition has never been seen. So the fragment stays unnamed. Untended and unintegrated. And then you get the fear because once one episode in the ringer is over, another one invariably comes and you still don’t have a clue “what it is” that keeps coming up. And even though you can trace some progression and “lightening” of the load, it feels like the same thing. Every. Time. The fear-based narratives grip on all the sides. Fear of how you’re gonna sleep through night and then go function the next day. Fear of running your business into the ground. Fear that you’ll be looping around the same thing forever. And that fear becomes a second, heavier layer - one that creates FAR more suffering than the original fragment ever did. I know this terrain so well. When a fragment keeps pulling you into the murk because it WANTS to be seen and brought home, and you don’t recognise WHO it is, so the mind scrambles wildly. The problem solver kicks in: Another biiiiig old layer of distraction. Fixing. Analysing. Searching for a cause. Often, the sensations get projected onto external situations. (aaaaaaanother layer!) Onto work and business. Onto money, body image, relationships. Onto the future. There can be SO much mental obsession and distraction layered over the top of the thing. Yet, the truth is so much quieter and more precise. And it is NEVER a failure or a regression. Ever. It’s an integration point that hasn’t been met yet, and when it is finally recognised - not solved or bypassed or analysed - it shifts. The bottle necked energy lifts. Fear disperses. You feel *consistently* better and you lead your business and life from that place, which obviously makes ALL of the difference - to your enjoyment and your results. There is no relief in trying to contort your outside circumstances. It is a dead end road and it is one that many people circle around forever. The release comes from finally knowing the truth of what you’re actually in and having a clear and supportive context for how to navigate it. This is literally the difference between living in loops, and living a “whole pie” life, where creativity, spirituality, material success, relationships, and emotional life are fulfilled and continually evolving from a place of fulfilment. This is the work I do.

Last night, while dreaming, I met with a huge, white dragon that reminded me a lot of the one from Never Ending Story, and it felt like meeting a particularly ancient, old friend. I cannot describe the recognition that I felt, and the immense love and protection emanating out of him. I called him fluffy. I somehow knew that wasn't his actual name, just the one I had for him. Felt like a really, really small and young part of me knew him and was present in that dream. I remember resting on his belly and feeling his warmth. And that warmth has been blazing in my womb and heart all day. 🥹❤️‍🔥

Goodnight texts to my husband where I start with one thing and then it leads to another and then I'm like yeah okay this is gonna get weird but I'm already in too deep 😆

I'll assume this is a scam? #asknostr