The Babylon Bee - Nostr Hypermedia

Country Music Industry Confused By Man Actually From Country Making Actual Music

NASHVILLE, TN — Sources at the major country music record labels confirmed Monday that they were "baffled" and "nonplussed" by a ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Israelites Ask Moses If He Can Strike Another Rock To Dispense Sunny D

The Babylon Bee

Israelites Ask Moses If He Can Strike Another Rock To Dispense Sunny D

THE WILDERNESS — After God miraculously supplied the Israelites with water, the Israelites asked if Moses could possibly strike another rock to m...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Global Warming Mysteriously Spikes Every Year Between June And August, Experts Say

The Babylon Bee

Global Warming Mysteriously Spikes Every Year Between June And August, Experts Say

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House National Climate Task Force reported today that NASA scientists have discovered a mysterious spike in global w...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

The Biggest Pros And Cons Of Living In Each State

The Babylon Bee

The Biggest Pros And Cons Of Living In Each State

While every state in the Union is way better than France, each has its upsides and downsides. We at The Babylon Bee have collected for you the bigg...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Rift Opens In Space-Time Continuum As Man Buys Dave Ramsey Book With Credit Card

The Babylon Bee

Rift Opens In Space-Time Continuum As Man Buys Dave Ramsey Book With Credit Card

ST. PAUL, MN — Local man Dean Richardson caused a rift to open in the space-time continuum this morning when he foolishly used a credit card to p...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Disaster Relief Plane Flies Over Hawaii On Way To Ukraine

The Babylon Bee

Disaster Relief Plane Flies Over Hawaii On Way To Ukraine

U.S. — According to sources, a plane carrying emergency supplies and $10 Billion in disaster relief flew over the Hawaiian island of Maui on its ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Studies Show Everyone At The Beach Absolutely Wants To Listen To Your Crappy Music So Crank That Baby Up

The Babylon Bee

Studies Show Everyone At The Beach Absolutely Wants To Listen To Your Crappy Music So Crank That Baby Up

BEACHVILLE, USA — According to newly released studies, everyone sitting on the beach around you really wants to hear that trash music you're...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

UPS Updates Driver Uniforms To Include Top Hat, Monocle

The Babylon Bee

UPS Updates Driver Uniforms To Include Top Hat, Monocle

ATLANTA, GA — As part of its new agreement with the drivers union, global shipping giant UPS has announced the company will be paying its drivers...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Hawaii Officials Ask Whoever Stole Ancient Fire God Tiki Statue To Please Return It ASAP

The Babylon Bee

Hawaii Officials Ask Whoever Stole Ancient Fire God Tiki Statue To Please Return It ASAP

LAHAINA, HI — Representatives with the Hawaiian Department of Land and Natural Resources reached out to the public Friday, imploring whoever stol...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Garland Appoints Special Counsel To Cover Up Biden's Crimes

The Babylon Bee

Garland Appoints Special Counsel To Cover Up Biden's Crimes

U.S. — In a press conference today, Attorney General Merrick Garland announced he will be appointing a new special counsel, David C. Weiss, to in...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

UPS Updates Driver Uniforms To Include Top Hat, Monocle

The Babylon Bee

UPS Updates Driver Uniforms To Include Top Hat, Monocle

ATLANTA, GA — As part of its new agreement with the drivers union, global shipping giant UPS has announced the company will be paying its drivers...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Hawaii Officials Ask Whoever Stole Ancient Fire God Tiki Statue To Please Return It ASAP

The Babylon Bee

Hawaii Officials Ask Whoever Stole Ancient Fire God Tiki Statue To Please Return It ASAP

LAHAINA, HI — Representatives with the Hawaiian Department of Land and Natural Resources reached out to the public Friday, imploring whoever stol...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Garland Appoints Special Counsel To Cover Up Biden's Crimes

The Babylon Bee

Garland Appoints Special Counsel To Cover Up Biden's Crimes

U.S. — In a press conference today, Attorney General Merrick Garland announced he will be appointing a new special counsel, David C. Weiss, to in...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Heroic Dog Only One Protecting Family From Dangerous Amazon Driver

The Babylon Bee

Heroic Dog Only One Protecting Family From Dangerous Amazon Driver

WINNEMUCCA, NV — The Jorgensen family's home lies in a sea of residences, each more vulnerable than the last, ignorant of the numerous daily...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Heroic Dog Only One Protecting Family From Dangerous Amazon Driver

The Babylon Bee

Heroic Dog Only One Protecting Family From Dangerous Amazon Driver

WINNEMUCCA, NV — The Jorgensen family's home lies in a sea of residences, each more vulnerable than the last, ignorant of the numerous daily...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

7 Woke Products Coming Soon To Shelves Near You!

The Babylon Bee

7 Woke Products Coming Soon To Shelves Near You!

Are you sick of your favorite products going WOKE? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because it's not over yet! Hundreds of brands continue to crank...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

7 Woke Products Coming Soon To Shelves Near You!

The Babylon Bee

7 Woke Products Coming Soon To Shelves Near You!

Are you sick of your favorite products going WOKE? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because it's not over yet! Hundreds of brands continue to crank...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Massachusetts Starting To Wonder If Trump Was Onto Something With That Whole 'Build The Wall' Thing

The Babylon Bee

Massachusetts Starting To Wonder If Trump Was Onto Something With That Whole 'Build The Wall' Thing

BOSTON, MA — After declaring a state of emergency due to the influx of migrants numbering in the dozens, Massachusetts began to wonder if former ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Democrats Say It’ll Take A Lot More Than Eyewitness Testimony, Bank Records, Audio, Video, Complete Confessions For Them To Believe Biden Did Anything Wrong

The Babylon Bee

Democrats Say It’ll Take A Lot More Than Eyewitness Testimony, Bank Records, Audio, Video, Complete Confessions For Them To Believe Biden Did Anything Wrong

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As evidence of bribery and corruption by the Biden family continues to mount, Democrat lawmakers in the nation's capital ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

With Colbert Off The Air, Dancing Vaccines Forced To Perform At Children’s Birthday Parties

The Babylon Bee

With Colbert Off The Air, Dancing Vaccines Forced To Perform At Children’s Birthday Parties

MONTCLAIR, NEW JERSEY — With the writers' strike entering its fourth month, workers associated with late-night comedy shows are falling on h...