The Babylon Bee
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Fake news you can trust.
Biden Says Anyone Struggling To Buy A House Should Just Try Setting Up 20 Shell Companies To Launder Money From China
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Biden Says Anyone Struggling To Buy A House Should Just Try Setting Up 20 Shell Companies To Launder Money From China
CAMP DAVID — With mortgage interest rates continuing to climb and home ownership increasingly out of reach for many Americans, President Joe Bide...
New Christian Dating App Just A Screen That Tells You To Go To Church And Meet A Godly Spouse
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New Christian Dating App Just A Screen That Tells You To Go To Church And Meet A Godly Spouse
GRANDVIEW, MO — As single people excitedly downloaded a new Christian dating app, they were surprised to learn that the app consists only of a si...
White House Assures Americans We're Not A Banana Republic, We're A Democratic Banana Republic
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White House Assures Americans We're Not A Banana Republic, We're A Democratic Banana Republic
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to public outcry that America has descended to the level of a banana republic, the Biden administration assured th...
10 Theses From Martin Luther That Didn't Quite Make The Cut
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10 Theses From Martin Luther That Didn't Quite Make The Cut
Many people are quite familiar with Martin Luther's famous 95 Theses that he nailed to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany in...
Survey: Number 1 Quality Men Look For In A Wife Is A Woman Who Will Fight Off Invisible Lizard People On The Plane Who Aren't Real
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Survey: Number 1 Quality Men Look For In A Wife Is A Woman Who Will Fight Off Invisible Lizard People On The Plane Who Aren't Real
U.S. — A new survey of single men has found that the number one qualification they look for in a wife is "someone who will shout at and fight...
Biden's 'No Comment' Praised As Most Rational, Coherent Statement He's Made As President
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Biden's 'No Comment' Praised As Most Rational, Coherent Statement He's Made As President
REHOBOTH BEACH, DE — Biden responded "No comment" to a reporter's question about the destructive, deadly Maui fires as he was leavin...
Report: Noah's Wife Repeatedly Asked Him To Stop Posing On Prow Of Ark Shouting, 'I'm The King Of The World!'
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Report: Noah's Wife Repeatedly Asked Him To Stop Posing On Prow Of Ark Shouting, 'I'm The King Of The World!'
MESOPOTAMIA - According to Bible scholars, Noah's wife was repeatedly forced to shout at him to stop posing himself atop the prow of the Ark a...
Sociologists: Western Civilization Began Its Decline When McDonald's Took Out Those Little Cheeseburger Stools
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Sociologists: Western Civilization Began Its Decline When McDonald's Took Out Those Little Cheeseburger Stools
U.S. — An expert panel of sociologists has weighed in on the decline of Western civilization, and they believe they've found the exact momen...
8 Subtle Signs You Might Be Playing Against A Trans Athlete
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8 Subtle Signs You Might Be Playing Against A Trans Athlete
Ladies, have you ever been ready for a game to start when you looked over at your opponent and thought, "Hold up -- is that a dude?" To hel...
Study Finds 100% Of Men Would Immediately Leave Their Desk Job If Asked To Embark Upon A Trans-Antarctic Expedition On A Big Wooden Ship
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Study Finds 100% Of Men Would Immediately Leave Their Desk Job If Asked To Embark Upon A Trans-Antarctic Expedition On A Big Wooden Ship
U.S. — A new study has found that 100% of men would immediately leave their desk jobs if a daring explorer showed up at their place of work and s...
Country Music Industry Confused By Man Actually From Country Making Actual Music
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Country Music Industry Confused By Man Actually From Country Making Actual Music
NASHVILLE, TN — Sources at the major country music record labels confirmed Monday that they were "baffled" and "nonplussed" by a ...
Israelites Ask Moses If He Can Strike Another Rock To Dispense Sunny D
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Israelites Ask Moses If He Can Strike Another Rock To Dispense Sunny D
THE WILDERNESS — After God miraculously supplied the Israelites with water, the Israelites asked if Moses could possibly strike another rock to m...
Global Warming Mysteriously Spikes Every Year Between June And August, Experts Say
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Global Warming Mysteriously Spikes Every Year Between June And August, Experts Say
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House National Climate Task Force reported today that NASA scientists have discovered a mysterious spike in global w...
Rift Opens In Space-Time Continuum As Man Buys Dave Ramsey Book With Credit Card
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Rift Opens In Space-Time Continuum As Man Buys Dave Ramsey Book With Credit Card
ST. PAUL, MN — Local man Dean Richardson caused a rift to open in the space-time continuum this morning when he foolishly used a credit card to p...
Disaster Relief Plane Flies Over Hawaii On Way To Ukraine
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Disaster Relief Plane Flies Over Hawaii On Way To Ukraine
U.S. — According to sources, a plane carrying emergency supplies and $10 Billion in disaster relief flew over the Hawaiian island of Maui on its ...
Studies Show Everyone At The Beach Absolutely Wants To Listen To Your Crappy Music So Crank That Baby Up
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Studies Show Everyone At The Beach Absolutely Wants To Listen To Your Crappy Music So Crank That Baby Up
BEACHVILLE, USA — According to newly released studies, everyone sitting on the beach around you really wants to hear that trash music you're...
UPS Updates Driver Uniforms To Include Top Hat, Monocle
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UPS Updates Driver Uniforms To Include Top Hat, Monocle
ATLANTA, GA — As part of its new agreement with the drivers union, global shipping giant UPS has announced the company will be paying its drivers...