The Babylon Bee - Nostr Hypermedia

Christianity Defeated After Atheist Points Out That They Still Eat Shellfish And Wear Mixed Fabrics

BIDDLEFORD, ME — The foundations of Christendom were rocked to their very core this week after local atheist Chaz Piddington noted that Christian...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Justin Trudeau Says He Never Forced People To Get Vaccinated And That We've Always Been At War With Eurasia

OTTAWA, ON — In a country-wide broadcast this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau denied ever forcing COVID-19 vaccinations on Canadian citizens ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Justin Trudeau Says He Never Forced People To Get Vaccinated And That We've Always Been At War With Eurasia

OTTAWA, ON — In a country-wide broadcast this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau denied ever forcing COVID-19 vaccinations on Canadian citizens ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

9 New Woke Features In Bethesda's 'Starfield'

Surprise, surprise — wokeness has spread far beyond our own galaxy. With the long-awaited release of Starfield, the science fiction action-role-p...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Capitol Physician Medically Clears Bowl Of Jell-O To Serve In Senate

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In addition to certifying Mitch McConnell, Diane Feinstein, and John Fetterman as fit to serve in prominent roles in the legis...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

What Men Talk About At The Cigar Lounge, REVEALED

The secrets of the cigar lounge have been kept tightly under wraps for centuries, with women left to only speculate about the pearls of wisdom, min...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Colorado School Releases Powerful Commercial For Why You Should Homeschool

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — The Vanguard School in Colorado Springs has released a powerful commercial demonstrating why parents should homeschool the...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

What Men Talk About At The Cigar Lounge, REVEALED

The secrets of the cigar lounge have been kept tightly under wraps for centuries, with women left to only speculate about the pearls of wisdom, min...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Colorado School Releases Powerful Commercial For Why You Should Homeschool

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — The Vanguard School in Colorado Springs has released a powerful commercial demonstrating why parents should homeschool the...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

So Close: This Man Was About To Get Into Heaven But Then St. Peter Heard Him Call Soda 'Pop' And Down The Trapdoor He Goooooes

PEARLY GATES — The late Steve Christiansen, a devout Christian who had filled his mortal days serving others and standing for truth and righteous...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Mitch McConnell Unveils Reelection Campaign Slogan: …...................

The Babylon Bee

Mitch McConnell Unveils Reelection Campaign Slogan: …...................

LEXINGTON, KY — Senator Mitch McConnell revealed today his reelection campaign slogan, "..............".

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Biden Comforts Hurricane Victims By Talking About Time The Urinal Splashed Back At Him A Little

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Hurricane Idalia making landfall in Florida, President Joe Biden offered suffering victims in the Sunshine Stat...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Biden Comforts Hurricane Victims By Talking About Time The Urinal Splashed Back At Him A Little

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Hurricane Idalia making landfall in Florida, President Joe Biden offered suffering victims in the Sunshine Stat...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

FBI Seizes Jaiden's Backpack In Predawn Raid

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — A quiet community was thrown into chaos in the early hours of Wednesday morning, as a tactical team from the Federal Burea...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Archaeologists Discover Samson’s Bottle Of Herbal Essences

ISRAEL — The archaeological world celebrated a remarkable discovery this week, as an excavation team announced the discovery of a bottle of Herba...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

10 Home Decorating Tips For Men

The Babylon Bee

10 Home Decorating Tips For Men (Women, Please Do Not Click)

Editors note: This article is for men only. No women allowed.

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Singer Nails National Anthem By Just Not Changing Any Of The Notes

The Babylon Bee

Singer Nails National Anthem By Just Not Changing Any Of The Notes

FLUSHING, NY — Singer Derek Carter delivered an incredible rendition of the National Anthem today by simply singing the song exactly as it was wr...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

'Welp, Time To Get A Riding Lawnmower' Says Man Surveying His 10 Square Feet Of Grass

BENTONVILLE, AR — After surveying the ten square feet of grass in his new home's yard, local man Dan Jenkins decided it was definitely time ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

9 Signs That In Retrospect Made It Obvious Judas Was The Betrayer

Even at the Last Supper, Jesus' disciples were still not keen to know who was the traitor among them - yet looking back, the signs were all th...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Fulton County Releases First Official Portrait Of The 47th President Of The United States

ATLANTA, GA — In a moment that will go down in history books for generations to come, Georgia's Fulton County has released an exclusive firs...