The Babylon Bee - Nostr Hypermedia

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

CHICAGO, IL — Yet another batch of heathy vegan food was painstakingly synthesized using 957 chemicals earlier today at the Organisynth Corp. la...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Is Elon Musk The Father Of Your Child? Signs To Look For

According to reports, billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk has a lot of kids, with an estimated three dozen Musk-sired children being announced durin...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Deranged Maniac Fires Off Over 17 Memes In Crowded German Shopping Mall

HAMBURG — Chaos erupted and hundreds fled in a German city once again today, after what witnesses described as a "deranged maniac" allege...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

WINNING: Trump Announces Plan To Attack The British And Prussian Forces At Waterloo

WASHINGTON, D.C. — America's resurgence reached a new level this morning, as President Donald Trump announced a plan to attack the British a...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Impoverished Man Only Has Two Computer Monitors

The Babylon Bee

Impoverished Man Only Has Two Computer Monitors

PALO ALTO, CA — According to sources, a local impoverished man only has two computer monitors on his desk in his home office.

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Jobs Report Shows Skyrocketing Unemployment Among Lizard People

U.S. — As the Department of Government Efficiency continued scouring federal agencies on a crusade to eliminate waste and unnecessary positions, ...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Audit Reveals All Fort Knox Gold Replaced With IOUs

FORT KNOX, KY — An audit by the Department Of Government Efficiency has revealed that all the heavy gold bars that were thought to be kept in the...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Von Trapp Family Crosses The Alps Into Switzerland To Escape Free Speech

The Babylon Bee

Von Trapp Family Crosses The Alps Into Switzerland To Escape Free Speech

SALZBURG, AUSTRIA — The well-respected Von Trapp family has reportedly fled across the alps to Switzerland to escape the ever growing threat of f...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Woman Posts Pic Of Her Dinner For Benefit Of Friends Who’ve Never Seen Spaghetti

LEXINGTON, KY — Local woman Julie Linton took several pictures of her dinner to post on social media for the benefit of all of her friends who ha...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Their Future National Anthem

The Babylon Bee

Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Their Future National Anthem

MONTREAL — Hockey fans of the soon-to-be 51st state of America booed when their future National Anthem was played last night.

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Europe Vows To Stick It To Trump By Finally Paying Their Own Bills

MUNICH, DE — Following Vice President J.D. Vance's speech condemning Europe for failing to do its part alongside America to protect democrat...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

SNL Celebrates 25th Anniversary Of Last Time It Was Funny

The Babylon Bee

SNL Celebrates 25th Anniversary Of Last Time It Was Funny

NEW YORK, NY — Saturday Night Live hosted an epic celebration to mark fifty years since the show started and twenty-five years since it was last ...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Vance Speech Denouncing E.U. Censorship Censored By E.U.

The Babylon Bee

Vance Speech Denouncing E.U. Censorship Censored By E.U.

MUNICH — Angry about Vice President J.D. Vance's speech denouncing censorship in the Europe, the European Union has decided to censor all vi...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Democrats Demand Transparency From Man Who Posts Literally Everything He Does On The Internet

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have demanded increased transparency from a man who painstakingly posts on the internet every single thing he does.

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

The Babylon Bee Has Obtained RFK Jr.'s New And Improved Food Pyramid

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was only officially confirmed and sworn in as the new Secretary of Health and Human Services yesterday, but he's already...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Disaster As King Solomon Only Buys 698 Valentine's Day Gifts

JERUSALEM — Reports circulated that the House of Solomon had fallen into disarray following a disastrous Valentine's Day celebration in whic...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Impatient Liberal Journalist Starting to Suspect Trump Will Never Send Her to a Concentration Camp

Impatient Liberal Journalist Starting To Suspect Trump Will Never Send Her To A Concentration Camp

ATLANTA, GA — An impatient liberal journalist employed by CNN began to express doubts this week that President Trump will ever send her to a conc...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

German Weather Forecasts Now Include Chances Of Being Run Down By Crazed Jihadist

BERLIN — As part of their 5-day weather forecast, German meteorologists have started to incorporate the likelihood of being run down by a crazed ...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Supreme Court Approves Death Penalty For People Who Buy Valentine's Day Cards For Their 'Work Wife'

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an emergency ruling, the United States Supreme Court authorized the use of the death penalty for anyone who buys Valentine&...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Democrats Vow to Fight DOGE by Wasting More Money Than Ever

The Babylon Bee

Democrats Vow To Fight DOGE By Wasting More Money Than Ever

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The tug-of-war taking over federal spending continued this week, as prominent Democrats pledged to waste more money than ever ...