The Babylon Bee
babylonbee@gameliberty-club.mostr.pub
npub1ax5r...q37w
Fake news you can trust.
Greta Thunberg Reports Flotilla Struck By Jewish Space Laser
Greta Thunberg Reports Flotilla Struck By Jewish Space Laser
MEDITERRANEAN SEA — The international community is calling for investigations after Greta Thunberg reported that her humanitarian flotilla had su...
Tough-On-Crime Democrats Propose ‘100 Strikes And You’re Out’ Law
Tough-On-Crime Democrats Propose ‘100 Strikes And You’re Out’ Law
U.S. — Facing heavy criticism for going easy on violent criminals, a group of Democrats sought to prove that they are tough on crime by proposing...
Osama Bin Laden Getting Real Friggin' Tired Of Not Getting Credit for 9/11
Osama Bin Laden Getting Real Friggin' Tired Of Not Getting Credit for 9/11
THE INFERNO — In a stunning tell-all interview from the bowels of Hell, Osama bin Laden said he is getting really friggin' sick and tired of...
Waffle House Unveils Successful Brand Strategy Of Just Keeping Everything The Same Forever
Waffle House Unveils Successful Brand Strategy Of Just Keeping Everything The Same Forever
NORCROSS, GA — Following the public relations disaster Cracker Barrel experienced this week after it introduced its new logo, popular restaurant ...
Kamala Announces She Will Step Away From Politics To Spend More Time With Vodka
Kamala Announces She Will Step Away From Politics To Spend More Time With Vodka
SACRAMENTO — Former Vice President Kamala Harris officially announced today that she would be stepping away from politics in order to spend more ...
Man At Disneyland Shocked By How Well His Kids Are Getting Along Suddenly Realizes He’s Standing With Wrong Family
Man At Disneyland Shocked By How Well His Kids Are Getting Along Suddenly Realizes He’s Standing With Wrong Family
ANAHEIM, CA — A local father who had taken his family to Disneyland was reportedly shocked at how well they were all behaving until he suddenly d...
Gaza Said To Be Starving But Not 'Release The Hostages' Starving
Gaza Said To Be Starving But Not 'Release The Hostages' Starving
GAZA — Despite reports that multiple men, women, and children had starved to death in the war-torn Gaza Strip as a result of the ongoing Israel-G...
Bible Scholars Now Believe The Seventh Seal In The Book Of Revelation Is The Full Release Of The Epstein List
Bible Scholars Now Believe The Seventh Seal In The Book Of Revelation Is The Full Release Of The Epstein List
LONDON — In the wake of recent geopolitical developments, a team of esteemed biblical scholars said they now believe that the seventh seal in the...
Joe Biden States He Absolutely Would Have Approved All The Presidential Pardons If He Had Known About Them
Joe Biden States He Absolutely Would Have Approved All The Presidential Pardons If He Had Known About Them
GREENVILLE, DE — In a rare public appearance after leaving office in January, former President Joe Biden stated that he absolutely would have app...
Mattel Introduces New 'Ozempic Barbie' With Syringe And Detachable Belly
Mattel Introduces New 'Ozempic Barbie' With Syringe And Detachable Belly
U.S. — Toy maker Mattel has unveiled the latest in its Barbie lineup, the all-new "Ozempic Barbie" that comes with real syringes and a de...
‘There Is No Epstein Client List,’ Say Epstein's Clients
‘There Is No Epstein Client List,’ Say Epstein's Clients
WORLD — Concerned citizens of nations around the world breathed a collective sigh of relief this week, as the individuals who comprised Jeffrey E...
Libertarian Torn Between Investing In Shiny Rocks Or Magic Computer Coins
Libertarian Torn Between Investing In Shiny Rocks Or Magic Computer Coins
KNOXVILLE, TN — Local Libertarian Steve Kocot was unsure about how best to invest his money and was torn between investing in shiny rocks or some...
Support For Police Skyrockets After They Start Shooting Journalists
Support For Police Skyrockets After They Start Shooting Journalists
U.S. — Law enforcement agencies across the country saw a sudden surge of popularity today after word got out that they were shooting journalists ...
Illegals Help Film Republican Presidential Campaign Commercial
The Babylon Bee
Illegals Help Film Republican Presidential Campaign Commercial
LOS ANGELES, CA — The Republican Party expressed gratitude to a local group of illegal immigrants who helped film some commercials for the next p...
Judge Determines Trump Will Get The Nation On Weekdays, While Musk Gets Every Other Weekend And Holidays
Judge Determines Trump Will Get The Nation On Weekdays, While Musk Gets Every Other Weekend And Holidays
U.S. — As the American people sat back helplessly and watched a once-close relationship fall apart, a judge issued a ruling that President Donald...
Nicolas Cage Launches New Streaming Service Nicolas Cage+ That Has Nothing But Nicolas Cage Movies
Nicolas Cage Launches New Streaming Service Nicolas Cage+ That Has Nothing But Nicolas Cage Movies
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Nicolas Cage announced this week that he will be starting his own streaming service called Nicolas Cage+, which will exclusively ...