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Cast Of 'The View' All Getting Rabies Shots After Being Bitten By Whoopi Goldberg 
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Cast Of 'The View' All Getting Rabies Shots After Being Bitten By Whoopi Goldberg
NEW YORK, NY — The entire cast of the all-female talk show ‘The View' was forced to get rabies shots this week after Whoopi Goldberg bit a...
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Cast Of 'The View' All Getting Rabies Shots After Being Bitten By Whoopi Goldberg https://t.co/K7NQhPz3SM
Climate Activists Glue Selves To SpaceX Rocket 
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Climate Activists Glue Selves To SpaceX Rocket
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Climate Activists Glue Selves To SpaceX Rocket https://t.co/D4giNoG90V
If Women Had The Same Rights As Guns 
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If Women Had The Same Rights As Guns
Dang It! Wife Cleans Out Junk Drawer And Now Husband Can’t Find Any Dried-Out Markers Or Broken Rubber Bands
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Dang It! Wife Cleans Out Junk Drawer And Now Husband Can’t Find Any Dried-Out Markers Or Broken Rubber Bands
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local man Mark Griggs found himself searching in vain for a dried-out magic marker and broken rubber bands this week after h...
Media Assures Americans The Real Threat Is The Side That Keeps Getting Shot At 
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Media Assures Americans The Real Threat Is The Side That Keeps Getting Shot At
U.S. — In the wake of yet another assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, the media sought to assure Americans that the real thre...
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Media Assures Americans The Real Threat Is The Side That Keeps Getting Shot At https://t.co/1TufOHyh7q
Blast From The Past: Remember That 'Joe' Guy? Whatever Happened To Him Anyway? 
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Blast From The Past: Remember That 'Joe' Guy? Whatever Happened To Him Anyway?
Do you remember that "Joe Biden" guy from a while back that everyone was talking about? The one who always mumbled funny words and said kin...
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Blast From The Past: Remember That 'Joe' Guy? Whatever Happened To Him Anyway? https://t.co/ox3dGG3rWb
Oh No! DNC Abortion Bus Breaks Down And Four Babies Get To Live 
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Oh No! DNC Abortion Bus Breaks Down And Four Babies Get To Live
CHICAGO, IL — In a tragic turn of events, the DNC Planned Parenthood abortion bus broke down, resulting in the lives of four babies.
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Oh No! DNC Abortion Bus Breaks Down And Four Babies Get To Live https://t.co/cIojf6yL4Q
Michelle Obama Exits DNC On 'Eat the Rich' Palanquin 
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Michelle Obama Exits DNC On 'Eat the Rich' Palanquin
CHICAGO, IL — Following her inspiring speech last night about the evils perpetrated by wealthy people, Michelle Obama exited the Democratic Natio...
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Michelle Obama Exits DNC On 'Eat the Rich' Palanquin https://t.co/B2ElcmWIGt
Family Vacation Ruined By Family 
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Family Vacation Ruined By Family
WILDWOOD, NJ—The O’Mera family of Philadelphia says a family vacation to the beach turned into a nightmare when they realized they woul...
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Family Vacation Ruined By Family https://t.co/AwEKjFWW3i
Strong, Independent Woman Accompanies Strong, Independent Woman To Restroom 
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Strong, Independent Woman Accompanies Strong, Independent Woman To Restroom
SEATTLE, WA — A strong, independent woman accompanied a strong, independent woman to the restroom in a pub in downtown Seattle, according to sour...
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Strong, Independent Woman Accompanies Strong, Independent Woman To Restroom https://t.co/9nvO0F8AVC
FBI Director Suggests Trump's Ear Just Spontaneously Exploded 
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FBI Director Suggests Trump's Ear Just Spontaneously Exploded
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his testimony before Congress, FBI Director Christopher Wray proposed a bold new theory about the attempted assassination o...
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FBI Director Suggests Trump's Ear Just Spontaneously Exploded https://t.co/iXrXjiHwFp
Most Popular President In History Inundated With Calls To Step Down 
https://t.co/RcEEQ4E4CM 
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Most Popular President In History Inundated With Calls To Step Down
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A great upheaval was felt across the political landscape today as the most popular president in history was inundated with cal...
‘Let’s Settle This At The Ballot Box,’ Says Party That Tried To Kick Trump Off Ballots 
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‘Let’s Settle This At The Ballot Box,’ Says Party That Tried To Kick Trump Off Ballots
WASHINGTON D.C. — After years of desperately trying to remove former President Trump from ballots, President Biden has declared that we must sett...
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‘Let’s Settle This At The Ballot Box,’ Says Party That Tried To Kick Trump Off Ballots https://t.co/N6ne5hT8fq
'Up Yours, Woke Moralists!' Cries Jordan Peterson While Attempting To Ride The Ostriches At The Zoo 
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'Up Yours, Woke Moralists!' Cries Jordan Peterson While Attempting To Ride The Ostriches At The Zoo
NASHVILLE, TN — Authorities were dispatched to the Nashville Zoo after Psychology professor and free-speech activist Jordan Peterson disregarded ...
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'Up Yours, Woke Moralists!' Cries Jordan Peterson While Attempting To Ride The Ostriches At The Zoo https://t.co/UMxLV5gnjW
Biden's Popularity Skyrockets After He Announces Trump Is His VP 
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Biden's Popularity Skyrockets After He Announces Trump Is His VP
U.S. — In a much-needed surge in popularity after disastrous debate performances and gaffe-filled public appearances, Presiden Joe Biden's p...
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Biden's Popularity Skyrockets After He Announces Trump Is His VP https://t.co/J5r0OFUcxY
Embarrassed Man Could’ve Sworn Invitation Said 'Costume Party' 
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Embarrassed Man Could’ve Sworn Invitation Said 'Costume Party'
LITHUANIA — A Ukrainian attendee at this year's NATO Summit found himself feeling embarrassed upon realizing the get-together was not, in fa...
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Embarrassed Man Could’ve Sworn Invitation Said 'Costume Party' https://t.co/VMLPFQdalc
Chicago Mayor Blames Spike In Violence On 9th Century Chinese Monks Who Invented Gunpowder 
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Chicago Mayor Blames Spike In Violence On 9th Century Chinese Monks Who Invented Gunpowder
CHICAGO, IL — In response to the shooting deaths of over 100 Chicago residents over the weekend, Mayor Brandon Johnson blamed the killings on the...
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Chicago Mayor Blames Spike In Violence On 9th Century Chinese Monks Who Invented Gunpowder https://t.co/SSVUuIobyj
Chinese Military To Just Shout Wrong Pronouns At American Soldiers 
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Chinese Military To Just Shout Wrong Pronouns At American Soldiers
Man Who Claims To Like Fishing Actually Just Likes Sitting Alone In Boat For 5 Hours 
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Man Who Claims To Like Fishing Actually Just Likes Sitting Alone In Boat For 5 Hours
SWEETWATER, AL — Alabama man Benjamin Braun once again declared his deep love for fishing this morning as he set out on the lake with a giant coo...
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Man Who Claims To Like Fishing Actually Just Likes Sitting Alone In Boat For 5 Hours https://t.co/pmO4RCcFA4