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The Babylon Bee
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
Lobster Ready To Tear Restaurant Apart Soon As He Gets These Dang Rubber Bands Off His Claws
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Lobster Ready To Tear Restaurant Apart Soon As He Gets These Dang Rubber Bands Off His Claws
BERNARD, ME—Thurston's Lobster Pound, a popular seafood restaurant on the Maine coast, was put on high alert Friday after one o...
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Lobster Ready To Tear Restaurant Apart Soon As He Gets These Dang Rubber Bands Off His Claws https://t.co/ZF1uRtPIco
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
Dryer, Dishwasher, Air Conditioner Secretly Conspire In Dead Of Night To All Break Down At Same Time
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Dryer, Dishwasher, Air Conditioner Secretly Conspire In Dead Of Night To All Break Down At Same Time
PASADENA, CA—Unbeknownst to local man Jamal Brown, all of his major appliances met up late last night to plot how they could manage to b...
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Dryer, Dishwasher, Air Conditioner Secretly Conspire In Dead Of Night To All Break Down At Same Time https://t.co/LA5lDZ8dte
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
10 Most Terrifying Examples Of LGBTQ People Being Oppressed In America Today
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10 Most Terrifying Examples Of LGBTQ People Being Oppressed In America Today
As we weather yet another Pride month, it can be helpful to remember what Pride means and the hardships experienced by members of the LGBTQ communi...
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10 Most Terrifying Examples Of LGBTQ People Being Oppressed In America Today https://t.co/CNQeqczjIJ
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
American Voters Looking Forward To Choosing Between Convicted Felon And Unconvicted Felon
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American Voters Looking Forward To Choosing Between Convicted Felon And Unconvicted Felon
U.S. — With presidential candidate Donald Trump now convicted of 34 felony charges, American voters are looking forward to choosing between a con...
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American Voters Looking Forward To Choosing Between Convicted Felon And Unconvicted Felon https://t.co/2VrVBsb2vf
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
17-Year Cicada Decides To Return To Hibernation After Emerging Beneath Pride Parade
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17-Year Cicada Decides To Return To Hibernation After Emerging Beneath Pride Parade
PHILADELPHIA, PA — Distraught and horrified by what it witnessed during its brief time awakened from a long sleep, a 17-year cicada decided to re...
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17-Year Cicada Decides To Return To Hibernation After Emerging Beneath Pride Parade https://t.co/qTpoceM5B1
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
New York Prosecutor Says Nobody In America Is Above The Law He Made Up To Convict Them
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New York Prosecutor Says Nobody In America Is Above The Law He Made Up To Convict Them
NEW YORK, NY — Following the guilty verdict handed down against former President Donald Trump, New York Prosecutor Alvin Bragg used the case to i...
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New York Prosecutor Says Nobody In America Is Above The Law He Made Up To Convict Them https://t.co/NONhPq52m6
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
To Grow Customer Base, Cracker Barrel Rebrands As 'Hispanic, Black, And Cracker Barrel'
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To Grow Customer Base, Cracker Barrel Rebrands As 'Hispanic, Black, And Cracker Barrel'
LEBANON, TN — In an attempt to right the ship amid financial struggles and grow its customer base, restaurant chain Cracker Barrel announced it w...
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To Grow Customer Base, Cracker Barrel Rebrands As 'Hispanic, Black, And Cracker Barrel' https://t.co/mpli87IOoK
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
Church At Corinth Braces As Little Dots On Text Message From Paul Have Been Bouncing Up And Down For A While
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Church At Corinth Braces As Little Dots On Text Message From Paul Have Been Bouncing Up And Down For A While
CORINTH — The congregation of the Corinthian church began bracing itself as the little dots on a text incoming from the Apostle Paul kept bouncin...
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Church At Corinth Braces As Little Dots On Text Message From Paul Have Been Bouncing Up And Down For A While https://t.co/iXvibr4617
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
‘Sorry, I’m Not A Great Texter,’ Says Friend Responding To Your Text From 2002
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‘Sorry, I’m Not A Great Texter,’ Says Friend Responding To Your Text From 2002
SCOTTSDALE, AZ — According to sources, a friend has just responded to your 22-year-old text to let you know he's sorry he didn't reply ...
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‘Sorry, I’m Not A Great Texter,’ Says Friend Responding To Your Text From 2002 https://t.co/4T8wflDv7T
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
Parenting A Toddler Review: House Wrecked, Every Ounce Of Patience Gone, Also They Said, "I Wuv You, Mommy" - 16/5 Stars
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Parenting A Toddler Review: House Wrecked, Every Ounce Of Patience Gone, Also They Said, "I Wuv You, Mommy" - 16/5 Stars
I decided to acquire a human toddler a few months back after hearing rave reviews from others, and am ready at this point to write my own, honest r...
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Parenting A Toddler Review: House Wrecked, Every Ounce Of Patience Gone, Also They Said, "I Wuv You, Mommy" - 16/5 Stars https://t.co/l5TRUz2a8z
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The Babylon Bee 1 year ago
Pope: 'I Apologize For Using An Offensive Slur To Refer To Flaming Homo Nancyboys'
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Pope: 'I Apologize For Using An Offensive Slur To Refer To Flaming Homo Nancyboys'
VATICAN CITY — Following the uproar regarding terminology he allegedly used in reference to homosexuals becoming Catholic priests, Pope Francis i...
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Pope: 'I Apologize For Using An Offensive Slur To Refer To Flaming Homo Nancyboys' https://t.co/ou8gRV2CZ9
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