The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Man Who Claims To Like Fishing Actually Just Likes Sitting Alone In Boat For 5 Hours

The Babylon Bee

Man Who Claims To Like Fishing Actually Just Likes Sitting Alone In Boat For 5 Hours

SWEETWATER, AL — Alabama man Benjamin Braun once again declared his deep love for fishing this morning as he set out on the lake with a giant coo...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Man Who Claims To Like Fishing Actually Just Likes Sitting Alone In Boat For 5 Hours https://t.co/pmO4RCcFA4

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

'Hobby Horsing Isn't A Real Sport,' Says Man Who Golfs

The Babylon Bee

'Hobby Horsing Isn't A Real Sport,' Says Man Who Golfs

ORLANDO, FL — Sources close to Florida resident Chet Schopel claim that the man has just vehemently opined that "hobby horsing isn't a r...

https://t.co/MilddyCQHP

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Nation's Pastors Praise Fathers, Single Mothers, Pet Owners, People Who Take Care Of A Tamagotchi

The Babylon Bee

Nation's Pastors Praise Fathers, Single Mothers, Pet Owners, People Who Take Care Of A Tamagotchi

U.S.—In celebration of Father's Day, the nation's pastors reportedly spent the whole sermon praising fathers, single mothers, people ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Nation's Pastors Praise Fathers, Single Mothers, Pet Owners, People Who Take Care Of A Tamagotchi https://t.co/hKivUQJadh

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Man Who Transitioned To Woman Just To Avoid The Draft Feeling Pretty Foolish About Now

The Babylon Bee

Man Who Transitioned To Woman Just To Avoid The Draft Feeling Pretty Foolish About Now

SEATTLE, WA — Local man Harry Bonds had chopped his balls off and changed his name to "Maxxine" to avoid the draft, only to find out that...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Man Who Transitioned To Woman Just To Avoid The Draft Feeling Pretty Foolish About Now https://t.co/e2eDsJIQYF

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

'Inside Out 2' Introduces New Emotion 'White Guilt'

The Babylon Bee

'Inside Out 2' Introduces New Emotion 'White Guilt'

U.S. — Disney and Pixar were eager to simultaneously turn around the trend of lackluster box office returns and educate audiences on the dangers ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

'Inside Out 2' Introduces New Emotion 'White Guilt' https://t.co/LMJeWB9akP

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Biden Disappointed After Huge Scoop Of Vanilla Ice Cream Turns Out To Be Pope Francis

The Babylon Bee

Biden Disappointed After Huge Scoop Of Vanilla Ice Cream Turns Out To Be Pope Francis

FASANO — Sources close to President Biden said he was "highly disappointed" to find out that what he thought was a huge, free scoop of va...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Biden Disappointed After Huge Scoop Of Vanilla Ice Cream Turns Out To Be Pope Francis https://t.co/eTNGEe0MHx

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Pastor Who Breathlessly Praised Mothers Last Month Absolutely Thrashes Congregation's Dads On Father's Day

The Babylon Bee

Pastor Who Breathlessly Praised Mothers Last Month Absolutely Thrashes Congregation's Dads On Father's Day

BREA, CA—According to sources present at Calvary Chapel Free Grace’s Father’s Day service Sunday, Pastor Slater Mills absolutely ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Pastor Who Breathlessly Praised Mothers Last Month Absolutely Thrashes Congregation's Dads On Father's Day https://t.co/eZIWBQ1zH8

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Father’s Day Updated To 'Toxic Masculinity Awareness Day'

The Babylon Bee

Father’s Day Updated To 'Toxic Masculinity Awareness Day'

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a special session called to order Friday, Congress voted unanimously to do a complete overhaul of Father’s Day, ren...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Father’s Day Updated To 'Toxic Masculinity Awareness Day' https://t.co/1g92qOmqTv

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

What Dads Get for Father's Day vs. What They Actually Want

The Babylon Bee

What Dads Get for Father's Day vs. What They Actually Want

It can be difficult to find a good Father's Day gift for your dad. In order to help you this year, The Babylon Bee conducted extensive researc...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

What Dads Get for Father's Day vs. What They Actually Want https://t.co/dwtgGpj8TR

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Pastors Reveal Their 10 Favorite Types Of Church Members

The Babylon Bee

Pastors Reveal Their 10 Favorite Types Of Church Members

Churchgoers come in all shapes, sizes, and types, making the body of Christ a veritable cornucopia of humanity. Among these seemingly disparate exa...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Pastors Reveal Their 10 Favorite Types Of Church Members https://t.co/aJYKKRlWjq

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Merrick Garland Threatens To Arrest Anyone Who Says His DOJ Is Corrupt

The Babylon Bee

Merrick Garland Threatens To Arrest Anyone Who Says His DOJ Is Corrupt

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As accusations continue to mount regarding the impartiality of the American justice system, U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garl...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Merrick Garland Threatens To Arrest Anyone Who Says His DOJ Is Corrupt https://t.co/jRH81jgxU9

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Here's How 12 Different News Outlets Covered Israel's Hostage Rescue

The Babylon Bee

Here's How 12 Different News Outlets Covered Israel's Hostage Rescue

Everyone knows that the media is either fake and biased or completely 100% factual and correct, depending on how your political orientation lines u...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Here's How 12 Different News Outlets Covered Israel's Hostage Rescue https://t.co/KF9AhbxFCr

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

All Bump Stocks Lost In Boating Accidents Back In 2017 Miraculously Wash Up On Shore

The Babylon Bee

All Bump Stocks Lost In Boating Accidents Back In 2017 Miraculously Wash Up On Shore

U.S. — In one of the most remarkable miracles in human history, the thousands of bump stocks that went missing seven years ago in boating acciden...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

All Bump Stocks Lost In Boating Accidents Back In 2017 Miraculously Wash Up On Shore https://t.co/c4LDQLEHnV

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Man Can Trace 90% Of His Mental Health Issues To Watching The Boat Tunnel Scene In Willy Wonka When He Was A Kid

The Babylon Bee

Man Can Trace 90% Of His Mental Health Issues To Watching The Boat Tunnel Scene In Willy Wonka When He Was A Kid

SALINA, KS — The root of one resident's deep-seated psychosis was finally discovered, as a local man was able to trace 90% of the mental hea...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Man Can Trace 90% Of His Mental Health Issues To Watching The Boat Tunnel Scene In Willy Wonka When He Was A Kid https://t.co/vgzUiyvxhz

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Half-hearted Jog Turns Into All-Out Sprint Whenever Car Drives By

The Babylon Bee

Half-Hearted Jog Turns Into All-Out Sprint Whenever Car Drives By

RALEIGH, NC — Local man Sam Williamson's listless, apathetic jog instantly transformed into a full-on sprint whenever a car drove by this mo...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Half-hearted Jog Turns Into All-Out Sprint Whenever Car Drives By https://t.co/UXpUVxX7In

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Oakland A’s Announce First Nine Fans At The Next Home Game Get To Play

The Babylon Bee

Oakland A’s Announce First Nine Fans At The Next Home Game Get To Play

OAKLAND, CA — In yet another attempt to boost public interest in the team and increase attendance, the Oakland A's announced that the first ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Oakland A’s Announce First Nine Fans At The Next Home Game Get To Play https://t.co/lJzyK3iwaF

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

G7 Officially Changed To G6 After Biden Wanders Off Again

The Babylon Bee

G7 Officially Changed To G6 After Biden Wanders Off Again

BARI, ITALY — The heads of state gathered in Italy for the G7 summit have decided to go ahead and officially change the name to "G6" afte...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

G7 Officially Changed To G6 After Biden Wanders Off Again https://t.co/AX3mMDxahF

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

President Pretending To Be Catholic Meets Pope Pretending To Be Catholic

The Babylon Bee

President Pretending To Be Catholic Meets Pope Pretending To Be Catholic

BARI, ITALY — President Biden, who has for decades now pretended to be Catholic, took time away from the G7 summit this week to meet with a Pope ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

President Pretending To Be Catholic Meets Pope Pretending To Be Catholic https://t.co/cb65K1WtiZ

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Ilhan Omar Calls For Day Of Mourning Over Hostages Rescued

The Babylon Bee

Ilhan Omar Calls For Day Of Mourning Over Hostages Rescued

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Representative Ilhan Omar has called for a National Day of Mourning in light of the news that four Israeli hostages were rescu...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Ilhan Omar Calls For Day Of Mourning Over Hostages Rescued https://t.co/CI2SRW79gF

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Star Wars Fans Upset ‘The Acolyte’ Full Of Woke Stuff Instead Of Siblings Kissing

The Babylon Bee

Star Wars Fans Upset ‘The Acolyte’ Full Of Woke Stuff Instead Of Siblings Kissing

U.S. — Star Wars fans have made no secret about their disdain for new series The Acolyte, and are hoping the franchise will stop injecting wokene...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Star Wars Fans Upset ‘The Acolyte’ Full Of Woke Stuff Instead Of Siblings Kissing https://t.co/vG84TGGKPa