The Babylon Bee - Nostr Hypermedia

Woman With Micro-Bangs Wondering How Everyone Knows She Hates Her Father

PORTLAND, OR — Microbangs owner Kira McKinley spent the better part of the week trying to figure out how everyone around her knows she has a lot ...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

As Kamala Campaigns, Nation Starting To Miss The Clarity And Coherence Of Joe Biden

The Babylon Bee

As Kamala Campaigns, Nation Starting To Miss The Clarity And Coherence Of Joe Biden

U.S. — The initial "honeymoon" period showed signs of wearing off as Kamala Harris started to hit the campaign trail, and many throughout...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Google Search Confirms Kamala Harris Did Not Exist Prior To July 22, 2024

The Babylon Bee

Google Search Confirms Kamala Harris Did Not Exist Prior To July 22, 2024

U.S. — Despite attempts by conservatives to attack her for previous statements and alleged extreme positions, a quick Google search has confirmed...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Black Americans Patiently Waiting For Liberal White Woman To Tell Them Who To Vote For

The Babylon Bee

Black Americans Patiently Waiting For Liberal White Woman To Tell Them Who To Vote For

LOS ANGELES, CA — Reports from the historic Zoom call "White Women: Answer the Call" for Kamala Harris indicate that black men all across...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Behavioral Scientists Now Believe Feminists Are Always Angry Because They Don't Have A Man To Tell Them To Calm Down

The Babylon Bee

Behavioral Scientists Now Believe Feminists Are Always Angry Because They Don't Have A Man To Tell Them To Calm Down

OXFORD — Eminent behavioral scientists at the University of Oxford have recently unveiled a new feminist theory of human emotions. Specifically, ...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Democrats Continue Long-Standing Tradition Of Large Whites-Only Gatherings

The Babylon Bee

Democrats Continue Long-Standing Tradition Of Large Whites-Only Gatherings

U.S. — Democrats continued their long-standing tradition of holding whites-only gatherings this week with the new "White Dudes for Harris&#34...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

11 Pick Up Lines For Libertarians To Use If They Ever Meet A Girl

The Babylon Bee

11 Pick Up Lines For Libertarians To Use If They Ever Meet A Girl

Even the staunchest libertarians deserve love. So throw away the pot you only smoke out of principle and take a shower, you son of liberty! You&#03...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Persecution Report: This Woman Put Her Bible Verse-A-Day Calendar On Her Desk At Work And No One Has Asked Her About It

The Babylon Bee

Persecution Report: This Woman Put Her Bible Verse-A-Day Calendar On Her Desk At Work And No One Has Asked Her About It

KNOXVILLE, TN — Local woman Carol Hughes is being blatantly persecuted for her faith while at work. After she placed a flowery, verse-a-day calen...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Persecution Report: This Woman Put Her Bible Verse-A-Day Calendar On Her Desk At Work And No One Has Asked Her About It https://t.co/HqBBvA8y82

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Strong, Independent Woman Needs Man To Leave Toilet Seat Down Or She Will Literally Fall In

The Babylon Bee

Strong, Independent Woman Needs Man To Leave Toilet Seat Down Or She Will Literally Fall In

HENDERSON, NV — Tough, independent woman Maggie Stallings once again told her husband today that he absolutely must leave the toilet seat down or...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Strong, Independent Woman Needs Man To Leave Toilet Seat Down Or She Will Literally Fall In https://t.co/FqksbT2czo

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Kamala Harris Hoping Her Unlikability Will Distract From Her Terrible Job Fixing The Border

The Babylon Bee

Kamala Harris Hoping Her Unlikability Will Distract From Her Terrible Job Fixing The Border

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Modern American politics can be difficult. But Vice President Kamala Harris may have found a way to get around all that: Bei...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Man With 'Don't Tread On Me' Flag Pays 40% Of His Income To The Government

The Babylon Bee

Man With 'Don't Tread On Me' Flag Pays 40% Of His Income To The Government

HUNTSVILLE, AL — According to sources, a local man who proudly displays a "Don't Tread On Me" flag dutifully filed his income taxes ...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

10 Most Heinous Acts You've Committed In Your Wife's Dreams

The Babylon Bee

10 Most Heinous Acts You've Committed In Your Wife's Dreams

As the Bible says, none is righteous, no, not one — especially when it comes to what you do in your wife's dreams. She has legitimate reason...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Exhausted Journalist Finally Gets To Bed After Long Day Of Copying And Pasting Democrat Talking Points

The Babylon Bee

Exhausted Journalist Finally Gets To Bed After Long Day Of Copying And Pasting Democrat Talking Points

NEW YORK, NY — An exhausted journalist finally got some well-deserved rest last night after another long day of copying and pasting Democratic ta...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

10 Things Husbands Suffer That Are More Painful Than Childbirth

The Babylon Bee

10 Things Husbands Suffer That Are More Painful Than Childbirth

If you're a husband, you probably know that the most difficult physical ordeal that your wife will ever go through is the experience of childb...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Democrats Condemn Obviously Manipulated Audio Of Kamala Harris Where She Sounds Sober

The Babylon Bee

Democrats Condemn Obviously Manipulated Audio Of Kamala Harris Where She Sounds Sober

U.S. — Democrats are condemning a new viral video of Kamala Harris which uses AI to make her speech sound sober.

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

New Google Homepage Honors Life Of Sharpshooter Thomas Matthew Crooks

The Babylon Bee

New Google Homepage Honors Life Of Sharpshooter Thomas Matthew Crooks

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Continuing its tradition of utilizing artwork on its home page to commemorate significant historic individuals, Google reveal...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

D-Day Soldier Blissfully Unaware France Will One Day Open Olympics With Naked Blue Smurf Demon

The Babylon Bee

D-Day Soldier Blissfully Unaware France Will One Day Open Olympics With Naked Blue Smurf Demon

OMAHA BEACH — As Private George Donovan of the 116th Infantry Regiment prepared to storm Omaha Beach and take a bullet for his country, he was bl...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Family Summons Priest To Cast Demons Out Of HP Deskjet 3755

The Babylon Bee

Family Summons Priest To Cast Demons Out Of HP Deskjet 3755

STEUBENVILLE, OH — Sources within the Linderman household report that the family had to summon a priest to exorcise a load of demons out of their...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Americans Thankful That Socialists Rigging Elections Only Happens In Venezuela

The Babylon Bee

Americans Thankful That Socialists Rigging Elections Only Happens In Venezuela

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following socialist dictator Nicolás Maduro's use of military force to maintain political power after an election in whi...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Modern-Day Rebel Plans To Grow Up, Get Married, Be Productive Member Of Society

The Babylon Bee

Modern-Day Rebel Plans To Grow Up, Get Married, Be Productive Member Of Society

ROLLA, MO—Stressing that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, 16-year-old modern-day rebel Anthony Clark revealed to sources clos...