The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Nation's Old Fogies Recall The Good Old Days When A Next-Gen Game System Meant A Noticeable Difference In Graphics

Nation's Old Fogies Recall The Good Old Days When A Next-Gen Game System Meant A Noticeable Difference In Graphics

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Nation's Old Fogies Recall The Good Old Days When A Next-Gen Game System Meant A Noticeable Difference In Graphics https://t.co/xxEHvaINqM

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

FBI Says We May Never Know The Motivation Of The Would-Be Trump Assassin Who Was A Biden-Harris Supporter And Donated To Democrats 20 Times

FBI Says We May Never Know The Motivation Of The Would-Be Trump Assassin Who Was A Biden-Harris Supporter And Donated To Democrats 20 Times

WEST PALM BEACH, FL — As the investigation into the second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump continued, the Federal Bureau o...

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FBI Says We May Never Know The Motivation Of The Would-Be Trump Assassin Who Was A Biden-Harris Supporter And Donated To Democrats 20 Times https:/...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes

Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices today. Michigan Con...

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Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes https://t.co/8sgUgFsCmV

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Man Spends Entire Workout Finding Right Podcast To Listen To

The Babylon Bee

Man Spends Entire Workout Finding Right Podcast To Listen To

TAMPA, FL — A local man's fitness routine was just long enough for him to find the perfect podcast to listen to during his fitness routine, ...

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Man Spends Entire Workout Finding Right Podcast To Listen To https://t.co/o0IutsgDad

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Hillary Clinton Says First Amendment Is Russian Disinformation

Hillary Clinton Says First Amendment Is Russian Disinformation

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an interview with Rachel Maddow, former presidential candidate and email server technician Hillary Clinton called for the i...

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Hillary Clinton Says First Amendment Is Russian Disinformation https://t.co/cXymCxLNV2

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Nation Celebrates 29th Year of Pretending 'Hocus Pocus' Is A Good Movie

Nation Celebrates 29th Year of Pretending 'Hocus Pocus' Is A Good Movie

U.S. — The nation is entering a very special Halloween season, as this autumn marks the 29th year Americans are pretending Hocus Pocus is a good ...

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Nation Celebrates 29th Year of Pretending 'Hocus Pocus' Is A Good Movie https://t.co/I3WBit5Mql

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

After Reading Headlines, Pope Sentences Babylon Bee Writers To 7 Trillion Years In Purgatory

After Reading Headlines, Pope Sentences Babylon Bee Writers To 7 Trillion Years In Purgatory

VATICAN CITY — After a morning of reading headlines from The Babylon Bee, the 266th pope of the Catholic Church sentenced all the paper's wr...

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After Reading Headlines, Pope Sentences Babylon Bee Writers To 7 Trillion Years In Purgatory https://t.co/7qntxwLzR8

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Twelve Lesser-Known Disciples Who Didn't Make It Into The Bible

Twelve Lesser-Known Disciples Who Didn't Make It Into The Bible

Ever wondered who the disciples were that followed Jesus besides those twelve famous guys? Allow us to fill you in on twelve lesser-known disciples...

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Twelve Lesser-Known Disciples Who Didn't Make It Into The Bible https://t.co/Quk2PXJbjO

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Merrick Garland Warns If Anyone Insults Migrants Again He Will Call In Another Bomb Threat

Merrick Garland Warns If Anyone Insults Migrants Again He Will Call In Another Bomb Threat

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Merrick Garland has just issued an ultimatum to racists around the country, warning that if anyone insults migrants again, he&...

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Merrick Garland Warns If Anyone Insults Migrants Again He Will Call In Another Bomb Threat https://t.co/pt99nT2St7

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Hillary Clinton Asked To Leave Costco After Repeatedly Accusing Sample Lady Of Being A Russian Asset

Hillary Clinton Asked To Leave Costco After Repeatedly Accusing Sample Lady Of Being A Russian Asset

WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources at a DC-area Costco, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was asked to leave Costco again afte...

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Hillary Clinton Asked To Leave Costco After Repeatedly Accusing Sample Lady Of Being A Russian Asset https://t.co/eFS0opV7NT

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Dove Soap To Replace Bird Logo With More Body-Positive Manatee

Dove Soap To Replace Bird Logo With More Body-Positive Manatee

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ — As part of a new marketing initiative, the makers of Dove soap have announced they will be replacing the brand's long...

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Dove Soap To Replace Bird Logo With More Body-Positive Manatee https://t.co/a7GoAiwqAC

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

In Latest Bond Film, 007 Tasked With Taking Down 83-Year-Old British Grandma Who Shared Inaccurate Meme

In Latest Bond Film, 007 Tasked With Taking Down 83-Year-Old British Grandma Who Shared Inaccurate Meme

LONDON — In a stark example of art imitating life, producers of the popular spy franchise announced that in the latest James Bond film, 007 will ...

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In Latest Bond Film, 007 Tasked With Taking Down 83-Year-Old British Grandma Who Shared Inaccurate Meme https://t.co/6qYAi4LpOg

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Daily Wire Hoping 'Am I Racist?' Movie Earns Enough Money To Afford A Better Wig For Matt Walsh

Daily Wire Hoping 'Am I Racist?' Movie Earns Enough Money To Afford A Better Wig For Matt Walsh

NASHVILLE — According to sources, Daily Wire CEO Jeremy Boreing is watching the incoming box office numbers of Am I Racist? very closely, hoping ...

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Daily Wire Hoping 'Am I Racist?' Movie Earns Enough Money To Afford A Better Wig For Matt Walsh https://t.co/CiSj5B45vB

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

How To Pay Off Your Crushing Student Debts Once You’ve Already Sold Your Non-Vital Organs

How To Pay Off Your Crushing Student Debts Once You’ve Already Sold Your Non-Vital Organs

Hey there, college grad! Are you still struggling to "adult" and pay off all your student debt? Have you already sold all the organs you ...

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How To Pay Off Your Crushing Student Debts Once You’ve Already Sold Your Non-Vital Organs https://t.co/XE46oOLM7p

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Democrats Express Relief That Hitler Is OK

The Babylon Bee

Democrats Express Relief That Hitler Is OK

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With news continuing to filter in about the second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, the nation's p...

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Democrats Express Relief That Hitler Is OK https://t.co/hphUsbnBHa

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Vatican Installs 'Heresy Jar' In Pope's Office

Vatican Installs 'Heresy Jar' In Pope's Office

VATICAN CITY — In a new effort to stem the increasing amount of troubling statements coming from the leader of the Catholic Church, new reports i...

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Vatican Installs 'Heresy Jar' In Pope's Office https://t.co/AwWCkLNCVc

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Guy At British Restaurant Not Sure If Chef Messed Up His Meal Or If It's Just Supposed To Taste Bad

Guy At British Restaurant Not Sure If Chef Messed Up His Meal Or If It's Just Supposed To Taste Bad

THE UNITED KINGDOM — According to sources, American tourist Gary Ludwig isn't sure whether the British restaurant where he is eating lunch m...

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Guy At British Restaurant Not Sure If Chef Messed Up His Meal Or If It's Just Supposed To Taste Bad https://t.co/uhsD9bS7FV

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

11 New Security Measures The Trump Campaign Will Be Implementing After Assassination Attempt

11 New Security Measures The Trump Campaign Will Be Implementing After Assassination Attempt

Following what the FBI confirmed was a second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, the Secret Service has reportedly been hard a...

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11 New Security Measures The Trump Campaign Will Be Implementing After Assassination Attempt https://t.co/SKEGaxjiqk

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Oh No! Tim Walz Just Waved So Hard His Arms Flew Off!

Oh No! Tim Walz Just Waved So Hard His Arms Flew Off!

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Minnesotans were shocked yesterday to find out that their governor lost both of his arms during a rally in which he waved so ha...

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Oh No! Tim Walz Just Waved So Hard His Arms Flew Off! https://t.co/zzkFMHJLmd

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview

Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Americans across the country breathed a sigh of relief this morning following breaking news that Vice President Kamala Harris ...

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Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview https://t.co/TBSrgLPDEo