The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Land Acknowledgment: The Babylon Bee Wishes To Acknowledge That Our Offices Are Located On Land Once Occupied By Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC

Land Acknowledgment: The Babylon Bee Wishes To Acknowledge That Our Offices Are Located On Land Once Occupied By Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC

The Babylon Bee recognizes that we occupy land originally inhabited and cared for by Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC. We honor and pay respect...

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Land Acknowledgment: The Babylon Bee Wishes To Acknowledge That Our Offices Are Located On Land Once Occupied By Morton & Mayfield Accounting L...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Kamala Campaign Forced To Hire Gay Actors For Ad After Being Unable To Find Any Straight Male Kamala Supporters

Kamala Campaign Forced To Hire Gay Actors For Ad After Being Unable To Find Any Straight Male Kamala Supporters

U.S. — The Kamala campaign was forced to pay gay actors to make a new ad about manliness after unsuccessfully searching the country for four stra...

https://t.co/qW6v3qwDlR

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Nation Shudders To Imagine How Horrifying The Incriminating Photos Are That Kamala Has Of Mark Cuban

Nation Shudders To Imagine How Horrifying The Incriminating Photos Are That Kamala Has Of Mark Cuban

U.S. — With billionaire Mark Cuban continuing to debase himself in absolutely humiliating fashion for Kamala's campaign, Americans shuddered...

https://t.co/YJnmfAmtli

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Study Finds 100% Of Men Fantasize About Launching Car Off Every Auto Transport Trailer They See

Study Finds 100% Of Men Fantasize About Launching Car Off Every Auto Transport Trailer They See

U.S. — A groundbreaking new study revealed a shocking insight into the masculine psyche, showing that 100% of men fantasize about launching their...

https://t.co/A8uRG2NL0w

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Kamala Harris Begins Melting After Rallygoer Says 'Jesus Is Lord'

Kamala Harris Begins Melting After Rallygoer Says 'Jesus Is Lord'

MILWAUKEE, WI — After a man in the crowd at a Wisconsin rally proclaimed "Jesus is Lord," the audience watched in shock as Vice President...

https://t.co/Xb9HiW20RP

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Alabama Pastor Placed On Leave After Giving Sermon Without College Football Analogy

Alabama Pastor Placed On Leave After Giving Sermon Without College Football Analogy

TUSCALOOSA, AL — Elders at First Bible Church of Tuscaloosa recently placed the church's head pastor Bob "Jimbo" James on leave afte...

https://t.co/tmDj0d0ulx

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Kamala Greets Latino Crowd With 'Donde Esta La Biblioteca?'

Kamala Greets Latino Crowd With 'Donde Esta La Biblioteca?'

LAS VEGAS, NV — Vice President Kamala Harris attended a town hall with Latino voters last night, where she opened by greeting the crowd with &#34...

https://t.co/gTjO2sj6zV

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Man Pretending To Be Straight Pretends To Hunt

The Babylon Bee

Man Pretending To Be Straight Pretends To Hunt

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — A man who pretends to be straight went out into a meadow today to pretend like he was hunting.

https://t.co/ipNcW9aWFY

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

9 Signs A Man May Be Voting For Kamala Harris

9 Signs A Man May Be Voting For Kamala Harris

The Harris/Walz campaign is working hard to target male voters, from releasing a super manly video of super manly men doing super manly things to s...

https://t.co/dSmsMEvrwn

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Support For Climate Change Skyrockets After Computer Models Show It Will Flood California

Support For Climate Change Skyrockets After Computer Models Show It Will Flood California

U.S.—A new climate model shows that much of southern California will be underwater in the future as a result of uninhibited climate change. T...

https://t.co/L3N6O6vykK

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

9 Great Reasons Christians Should Vote For Kamala Harris

The Babylon Bee

9 Great Reasons Christians Should Vote For Kamala Harris

Christians, it's time for us to throw our full support behind Kamala Harris for president.

https://t.co/JvSmPuPLts

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Dems Switch Out Kamala For A Wheel Of Cheese With A Sign Reading 'Not Trump'

Dems Switch Out Kamala For A Wheel Of Cheese With A Sign Reading 'Not Trump'

U.S. — In a desperate, last-ditch attempt to keep Donald Trump from winning the election, Democrats have announced they are switching out Kamala ...

https://t.co/yFWMQSAB0J

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Popular Halloween House Puts Out Bucket Of C.S. Lewis Books

Popular Halloween House Puts Out Bucket Of C.S. Lewis Books

HADDONFIELD, NJ — Preliminary trick-or-treating reports indicated a house on Wedgewood Lane was planning to put out a bucket full of books by C.S...

https://t.co/0a3llfzuJE

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

TV Ratings Saved As Trump Will Now Host All Late-Night Shows

TV Ratings Saved As Trump Will Now Host All Late-Night Shows

U.S. — Following a successful appearance at last night's Al Smith charity dinner, former President Donald Trump signed a deal to host every ...

https://t.co/Z3WW46YaBo

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Venezuelan Gang Wiped Out After Attempting To Take Over Buc-ee's

The Babylon Bee

Venezuelan Gang Wiped Out After Attempting To Take Over Buc-ee's

NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — A large Venezuelan gang was completely wiped out this week after trying to take over a local Buc-ee's location.

https://t.co/UlgaE30O1m

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

9 Bad Things In Your Life That Are Probably The Jews' Fault

The Babylon Bee

9 Bad Things In Your Life That Are Probably The Jews' Fault

If you listen to some people, the Jews are behind everything that goes on in the world. But does that theory hold up under scrutiny? You'd be ...

https://t.co/xvoWNT4q60

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Polls Show Democrats Have Slight Lead In Early Vote-Rigging

The Babylon Bee

Polls Show Democrats Have Slight Lead In Early Vote-Rigging

U.S. — Early voting polls from swing states like Pennsylvania and Michigan indicated that Democrats are clinging to a slight lead in early vote-r...

https://t.co/XnrnQdD1Y1

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Chuck Schumer Reveals His Decayed Appearance Is Due To Possessing The One Ring For Last 500 Years

Chuck Schumer Reveals His Decayed Appearance Is Due To Possessing The One Ring For Last 500 Years

NEW YORK, NY — After online rumors regarding the way he looked at last night's Al Smith dinner, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer reveale...

https://t.co/MJGDIPA1kI

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Apple Releases New AirPods That Come With One Already Lost For You

The Babylon Bee

Apple Releases New AirPods That Come With One Already Lost For You

CUPERTINO, CA — Apple, Inc. has once again astounded customers and shareholders alike by releasing new Airpods that conveniently come with one al...

https://t.co/4ol6lZ3Ao5

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

10 Scariest Flicks To Watch With Your Family This Halloween

10 Scariest Flicks To Watch With Your Family This Halloween

Be alert! Horror movies are proven to murder your soul by decapitating it with a spiritual machete. Stick to this approved list of certified family...

https://t.co/53ldq5XDWa