The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Desperate Kamala Plans Photo Op At Long John Silver's

The Babylon Bee

Desperate Kamala Plans Photo Op At Long John Silver's

LANCASTER, PA — In response to the popular reception former President Donald Trump received while working at a Philadelphia area McDonald's ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Desperate Kamala Plans Photo Op At Long John Silver's https://t.co/zaN22Jg4hV

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Noah's Wife Getting Sinking Feeling She Left The Stove On

The Babylon Bee

Noah's Wife Getting Sinking Feeling She Left The Stove On

EARTH — Staring out into the floodwaters, Noah's wife Emzara reported feeling a sinking sensation that she might have left the stove on when...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Noah's Wife Getting Sinking Feeling She Left The Stove On https://t.co/2hQLaOvqBj

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Trump Forced To Cancel Campaign Rallies For Next Two Weeks As Time Off Request Denied By McDonald’s Manager

The Babylon Bee

Trump Forced To Cancel Campaign Rallies For Next Two Weeks As Time Off Request Denied By McDonald’s Manager

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Former President Trump has been forced to cancel all of his rallies for the next two weeks after his request to take time off ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Trump Forced To Cancel Campaign Rallies For Next Two Weeks As Time Off Request Denied By McDonald’s Manager https://t.co/5NKz8fPVPR

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Joe Rogan Interviews Former McDonald's Fry Cook

The Babylon Bee

Joe Rogan Interviews Former McDonald's Fry Cook

U.S. — In a surprise development, Joe Rogan, host of the most popular podcast on the planet, decided to bring on a former McDonald's fry coo...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Joe Rogan Interviews Former McDonald's Fry Cook https://t.co/oVMCKtwX2v

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Sixth Woman Added To Cast Of 'The View'

The Babylon Bee

Sixth Woman Added To Cast Of 'The View'

NEW YORK, NY — A great moment in both television history and the advancement of women occurred today, as producers of ABC's long-tenured day...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Sixth Woman Added To Cast Of 'The View' https://t.co/zOGYzZDrPc

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Scientists Announce Megyn Kelly Now Officially Aging In Reverse

The Babylon Bee

Scientists Announce Megyn Kelly Now Officially Aging In Reverse

U.S. — Scientists announced today that after extensive study, they can now confirm that famed media personality Megyn Kelly has begun aging in re...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Scientists Announce Megyn Kelly Now Officially Aging In Reverse https://t.co/mzsQFig6xg

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Researchers Discover Miracle Cure For Hangovers Called 'Not Drinking Copious Amounts Of Alcohol'

The Babylon Bee

Researchers Discover Miracle Cure For Hangovers Called 'Not Drinking Copious Amounts Of Alcohol'

ROCHESTER, MN — Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have discovered a miracle cure for hangovers they're calling "Just Don't Drink A Gal...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Researchers Discover Miracle Cure For Hangovers Called 'Not Drinking Copious Amounts Of Alcohol' https://t.co/LjJM4B4aW7

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Millions Lose Faith In God As Dodgers, Yankees Move On To World Series

The Babylon Bee

Millions Lose Faith In God As Dodgers, Yankees Move On To World Series

U.S. — Churches and other faith-based organizations across the country reported a sudden rise in people questioning their deeply held beliefs aft...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Millions Lose Faith In God As Dodgers, Yankees Move On To World Series https://t.co/ZRtPdKhizD

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

10 Reasons You Can Totally Trust The Government With Your Money

The Babylon Bee

10 Reasons You Can Totally Trust The Government With Your Money

Everyone knows there's no more efficient organization than the United States government. Everything they touch flourishes and succeeds.

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

10 Reasons You Can Totally Trust The Government With Your Money https://t.co/849F45BPI5

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

10 Things You Can Do To Make Sure Our Elections Are Secure

The Babylon Bee

10 Things You Can Do To Make Sure Our Elections Are Secure

It can be hard to bother voting, especially when every election that hasn't gone your way has been rigged. But don't give up; you can do ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

10 Things You Can Do To Make Sure Our Elections Are Secure https://t.co/2VmS1yg3bJ

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Police Helicopter Either Saying To Go Outside And Help Look For Missing Old Guy Or Lock Your Doors And Stay Inside Because There's A Serial Killer On Your Street

The Babylon Bee

Police Helicopter Either Saying To Go Outside And Help Look For Missing Old Guy Or Lock Your Doors And Stay Inside Because There's A Serial Killer On Your Street

LOS ANGELES, CA — A late-breaking report confirmed that the police helicopter hovering above your neighborhood either said to go outside and help...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Police Helicopter Either Saying To Go Outside And Help Look For Missing Old Guy Or Lock Your Doors And Stay Inside Because There's A Serial Killer ...

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Satan Not Sure Which Of His Two Favorite Teams To Root For In World Series

The Babylon Bee

Satan Not Sure Which Of His Two Favorite Teams To Root For In World Series

NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Satan was reportedly unsure which of his favorite baseball teams he should root for to win the 2024 World Series: the Los ...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Satan Not Sure Which Of His Two Favorite Teams To Root For In World Series https://t.co/EcPbWAV9rk

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

12 Biblical Proverbs That Didn't Make The Cut

The Babylon Bee

12 Biblical Proverbs That Didn't Make The Cut

Approximately 900 individual proverbs are recorded in the Bible today, yet according to 1 Kings 4:32, King Solomon wrote at least 3,000. Apparently...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

12 Biblical Proverbs That Didn't Make The Cut https://t.co/bkPWRU7kAO

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Democrats Warn It May Take At Least 4 Years To Count Ballots

The Babylon Bee

Democrats Warn It May Take At Least 4 Years To Count Ballots

U.S. — With the presidential election less than two weeks away, top Democrats warned the American people that it could be some time before we kno...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Democrats Warn It May Take At Least 4 Years To Count Ballots https://t.co/KWeN4zJVRV

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Local Man Didn't Expect God's Hedge Of Protection Would Be Actual Hedge

The Babylon Bee

Local Man Didn't Expect God's Hedge Of Protection Would Be Actual Hedge

CHINO, CA — Anonymous reports from a church small group indicated local man Evan McDonough requested a hedge of protection from God to keep him s...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Local Man Didn't Expect God's Hedge Of Protection Would Be Actual Hedge https://t.co/eUNDdkRvn4

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

In Appeal To Millennial Voters, Kamala Says Trump Is Also Like Voldemort

The Babylon Bee

In Appeal To Millennial Voters, Kamala Says Trump Is Also Like Voldemort

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an attempt to connect with millennial voters, Vice President Kamala Harris held a press conference in which she compared Do...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

In Appeal To Millennial Voters, Kamala Says Trump Is Also Like Voldemort https://t.co/elVXHjxJ1Q

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Trump Accused Of Inappropriately Touching The Hearts Of Millions Of Americans

The Babylon Bee

Trump Accused Of Inappropriately Touching The Hearts Of Millions Of Americans

U.S. — Things went from bad to worse for the Trump campaign damage control team, as new reports surfaced that former President Donald Trump faced...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Trump Accused Of Inappropriately Touching The Hearts Of Millions Of Americans https://t.co/bCPpHfNLtt

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Kamala Harris's Cackle To Be Played Over Hell's Loudspeakers For All Eternity

The Babylon Bee

Kamala Harris's Cackle To Be Played Over Hell's Loudspeakers For All Eternity

HELL—In a bid to increase torture in the afterlife, managers of Hell confirmed today that Kamala Harris's grating cackle will be played o...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Kamala Harris's Cackle To Be Played Over Hell's Loudspeakers For All Eternity https://t.co/Zb8CRJURYA

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Top 10 Locations To Take A Girl On A First Date

The Babylon Bee

Top 10 Locations To Take A Girl On A First Date

Dating is tough these days! How can you impress a woman and show her a great time?

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Top 10 Locations To Take A Girl On A First Date https://t.co/qdZBXEpXLN

The Babylon Bee 1 year ago

Jewish Man Found To Be Center Of Massive Conspiracy To Control Entire Universe He Created

The Babylon Bee

Jewish Man Found To Be Center Of Massive Conspiracy To Control Entire Universe He Created

WORLD — Global leaders are shaken after researchers uncovered a young Jewish man from Nazareth at the center of a dark plot to control the entire...

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The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) on X

Jewish Man Found To Be Center Of Massive Conspiracy To Control Entire Universe He Created https://t.co/uLjKITI7Uk