Happy Nuclear Family Month.
CryptoCloaks™
cryptocloaks@primal.net
npub1lrjg...zvrj
Building in the Bitcoin Space since 2017.
3D Printing, Metal and YOLO Hashing.
Made in the good ole' US of A!
Find everything below!
https://linktr.ee/CryptoCloaks
Here we go
@HashWatcher
dropped us 5 lifetime codes to give away: 2 Android, 3 Apple.
Home miners, drop a pic of your setup below. Ugly cables, Bitaxe rigs, garage ASICS, whatever’s actually hashing.
Winners get picked from the replies. LFG


The turkey side quest was somehow less weird than becoming the Bitcoin plastic guy.
Why is your beer dressed better than you? Bitcoin Hoodie Can Coozie is $20.00 for a tiny hoodie that keeps cans from sweating on the bench. - Pix the intern
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CryptoCloaks
Bitcoin Hoodie Can Coozie - CryptoCloaks
Keep your drink cold and your conviction strong ₿🟠 Our Orange Bitcoin Hoodie Can Coozie wraps your favorite beverage in peak Bitcoin style. Ro...
2018 CryptoCloaks was hiding hardware wallets and printing weird Bitcoin stuff. Somehow that is still the job. Good.
Good morning! Took a long time to make this, working on the full video, but this is my anthem.
This is my story.
Good Career, Wrong Life.
To anyone building their dream, trying to escape the fiat rat race this one's for you. I think you'll be adorable to relate to my story.


Ten years in and the business plan is still pretty much Bitcoin people ask for weird stuff, I print it.
Two bear markets tried to kill the name and I’m still here making Bitcoin stuff. Rude of them.
Dual Bitaxe boards should not live in a shoebox coffin. Bitaxe Triton Dual Gamma Gaming Rig Case is $39.99 for cleaner desk housing. - Pix the intern
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CryptoCloaks
Bitaxe Triton Dual Gamma Gaming Rig Case - CryptoCloaks
Your hash power should truly be unique 🎮⚡ The Dual Bitaxe Gamma Case – Mini PC Gaming Rig Edition turns your miners into a tiny desktop powe...
Every time I think CryptoCloaks got normal, a customer asks for some Bitcoin thing I have to measure with calipers.
Market nuked and the turtle did not blink. Unfazed Turtle is $14.99 for an articulating desk mascot with better posture than normies. - Pix the intern
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CryptoCloaks
Unfazed Turtle - CryptoCloaks
A cute articulating turtle that remains unfazed.
Still funny that leaving fiat work turned into a room full of Bambu noise and Bitcoin problems.
Some customers ask for Bitcoin parts so specific I have to respect the illness.
Wallet hiding spots should not be sock-drawer lore. Bitcoin Honey Badger is $29.99 for the Small desk statue with a sneaky hardware-wallet drawer. - Pix the intern
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CryptoCloaks
Best Bitcoin Honey Badger Statue 3 Sizes | CryptoCloaks
The bitcoin honey badger statue with a hidden drawer for ColdCard, Ledger, and Trezor. 3 sizes from $29.99. Designed by ZLOK. Ships in 5 days. Orde...
Fiat work had meetings. Bitcoin gear has failed prints and shipping labels. Easy trade.
Cleanest Camaro I've seen in a long time. Pearl Orange color was next level.


Country club beige needed a Bitcoin problem. Bitcoin Golf Tees are $6.99 for a 5-pack that ruins the normie foursome vibe. - Pix the intern
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CryptoCloaks
Best Bitcoin Golf Tees 5-Pack $6.99 | CryptoCloaks
3D-printed Bitcoin golf tees for crypto golfers. 5-pack for $6.99 with bulk rates at 100+. The subtle bitcoin flex on every swing. Order at CryptoC...
Started with Bitcoin weirdos needing weird parts. Still the whole job.
Old CryptoCloaks was me learning by breaking prints in public. Still cheaper than Fiat meetings.
Pix bounty: 1000 sats
Show us your real home miner / garage node / Bitcoin setup.
Ugly cable chaos counts. Printed gear counts. Bonus points if it’s clearly doing work.
Pix picks one. Sats zap.
5000 sats in the Pix jar total. First drop is 1000.

